10 Datings Tips For Shy Guys: How To Attract Women

Being the quiet kid in school means you were one of the least popular. At least that’s how you were perceived by your peers. As you grow older you may have realized that being shy, or an introvert, has hindered your success in certain areas of your life. You avoid meeting people and making connections. This is important to progressing in your career, expanding your social circle, and getting a girlfriend. For the latter, there are tips and tricks to dating for shy guys.

When it comes to dating, shyness can make dating life more difficult than it needs to be. To meet women, you must come out of your shell and face the challenge. In this post, I will reveal the 10 dating tips for shy guys that will shed light on the dark, scary world of dating.

shy man using hoodie to cover his face

Top 10 dating tips for shy guys

Know that women are humans

In case you didn’t know, women are just humans. If you did know, then why don’t you treat them accordingly? Shy guys have the tendency to get nervous and hesitant around women. If the woman is especially good looking, a shy guy will simply “freeze”.

No matter how pretty the girl is, staying calm and keeping your cool while talking to her will make you come across as more confident. And ultimately more attractive. So, take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and go strike up a conversation.

Interact with women you’re not attracted to

Practice your social skills with women you don’t find physically attractive. You will feel less pressure having a conversation with someone you‘re not trying to impress, and will not worry about “messing up”. The most important tip to dating as a shy guy is to practice your social skills.

Get in the habit of approaching, talking, and being in control of the conversation with a woman. You will be a lot more comfortable when you start talking to one you do want to impress with your newly acquired social skills.

Drop the nice guy attitude

Although being a nice guy is a plus, it doesn’t mean you have to be polite and agreeable all the time. Being too nice is a turn off to women, and agreeability is a sign of insecurity. Feel free to disagree, speak your mind, and tease her.

To get a girl’s attention and maintain her interest, you have to develop an interesting personality.

It’s impossible to create an interesting personality by apologizing and agreeing. Every time you feel you’re being too polite in a conversation, you more than likely are.

Improve your appearance

When it comes to dating, appearance matters. People judge and treat us based on our appearance. This is more important when it comes to dating, where first impressions matter.

When you feel good about yourself, you will be more confident. With a higher confidence level, you will be less likely to come across as shy and awkward. Start to eat healthily, work out, and take care of yourself. Create a basic grooming routine, too.

Master the small talk

As a shy guy, small talk is one of the areas where you don’t exactly shine. Actually, many shy or introverted guys say they usually find small talk to be boring and painfully awkward.

The truth is, if you want to improve your social skills, you’ve got to be comfortable with small talk. On the bright side, learning how to make small talks is a skill, which means you can learn it.

Start by greeting strangers walking by (especially women). If you’re already comfortable with greeting strangers, step it up: Start talking about the weather or anything relevant to the environment you‘re in. Practice small talk while waiting for the bus, in the elevator, or in a waiting room.

Don’t be afraid to give a compliment to the other person, especially a woman. If, for example, you like the coat she’s wearing, let her know. People love talking about themselves and chances are she’ll want to “take over” the conversation and start talking about the coat.

Be proud of yourself

Don’t be shy to talk about your hobbies, beliefs, and habits when you’re with a girl. These things make you who you are. Simply put, if you don’t want to talk about yourself, how do you expect to make a good first impression?

Be proud of who you are and start by sharing your interests. When you’re proud of your hobbies, beliefs, and habits, you’re going to come across as confident, charming, and attractive. Don’t be shy to discuss things that interest you.

shy man's portrait on black background

Change your perspective about rejection

Rejection is a shy man’s biggest fear. Getting rejected can be harsh. The good thing is you don’t have to worry about rejection, and here’s why: Guys get rejected for one of two reasons. They either use the wrong approach or because the woman is just not interested.

When she’s not interested, all you can do is tell yourself, “I showed my intentions, and if she’s not interested that’s ok”. Focus on finding someone more compatible who will like you for who you are and the way you are.

If you have used the wrong approach, either being shy or too awkward, work to improve how you approach women. This takes practice, so don’t expect to charm the first woman you start talking to.

Try online dating

Online dating feels impersonal and many will argue it’s harder to find love online. While this may be true, online dating can work to your advantage. There is a benefit to online dating when you’re looking for dating tips for shy guys.

Talking to women online takes a lot of pressure out of the equation. As a shy guy, it is easier to communicate with someone via messages. This is an opportunity to build some level of interest and get to know each other better.

Once you have a better understanding of the other person, like their interests and hobbies, it’s time to prepare for the real challenge. Meeting and talking to her in real life.

Don’t overthink it

Shy guys have a habit of overthinking. And the number one thing they keep thinking about is how to overcome shyness when dating. It’s time to realize, that being shy isn’t a deal-breaker or a turn off for women. Don’t think that your shyness is a problem or some form of incapacity when it comes to getting women.

Shyness is only a problem when it prevents you from going out and meeting women. The solution to this is to step outside your comfort zone and meet people.

Know that shyness isn’t bad

There are some awesome traits attached to shyness that are both sexy to women and beneficial in life.

Shy guys are humble and don’t want to be the center of attention all the time. Things can get stressful and disappointing for people who crave the spotlight.

When you’re more reserved, you are more mysterious and relaxed. That’s intriguing to women.


By following most of the tips mentioned in this post, you’ll be on your way to becoming a more confident and interesting man. Focus on how to prevent getting nervous around women and your dating life will blossom.

Think of yourself as a mysterious, balanced, introverted, deep thinker, and as the type of man that thinks more and speaks less. Change how you perceive yourself and know your shyness doesn’t make you the unpopular kid in school or in life. Be confident even when you don’t say much. Your peers, and women, will notice.

5 thoughts on “10 Datings Tips For Shy Guys: How To Attract Women”

  1. I agree with your point of view, your article has given me a lot of help and benefited me a lot. Thanks. Hope you continue to write such excellent articles.

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