There’s a lot to be said for being direct and honest with the girl you are dating, or want to date. Let’s face it, today people have to deal with a ton of deception, game-playing and outright dishonesty in the dating world, particularly as online dating and social media continue to grow in popularity. So how does being direct with a girl help you in the dating scene and your relationships?
Being Direct With a Girl When Dating
To a woman, there’s something really refreshing about a guy just approaching her in a bar, club or restaurant and simply saying, “Hey! I’ve noticed you and thought I’d come say hi and introduce myself. I’m (your name), can I buy you a drink?” It quite literally cuts out the guessing games and extraneous B.S. that women are used to having to deal with on the daily.
You don’t even need to be the best-looking, funniest, or smartest dude in the room. You don’t need designer duds or the latest Tesla on the market. Those attributes don’t hurt, of course; but they are only window dressing. At the end of the day it’s all about your character. Making a woman feel she can trust you and your direct honesty will get you a lot further than any of your competition.
Of course, your honesty will need to be tempered somewhat. You doubtless approached this girl because you thought she was hot and sexy. It wasn’t about her personality. At least, not yet. So while you might just want a one-night stand with her, it still serves you to be direct and honest, WITHOUT simply saying, “Hey, wanna go back to my place?”
You may find, by being direct with a girl, yet gentlemanly and polite, you want more out of this attractive woman than just sex. You might just find out that, beyond her outward hotness, underneath lies a woman who is really worth getting to know, who is as beautiful inside as she is outside. But only if you’re a straight-shooter with her will you get the chance to find out.
Are Women Attracted to Men Who Are Direct?
We are going to say “YES” without hesitation. Women don’t appreciate a man who is constantly playing mind games or making them second-guess themselves.
Let’s flip the script for a second: if you’re really interested in a girl and she’s constantly sending you mixed messages, i.e., planning and then cancelling dates last-minute, do YOU appreciate that?
No one likes to be unsure of where they stand in a relationship.
The number-one complaint by single females is having to deal with men who seem unable to communicate directly, never make solid plans or make their feelings known, and are weak and passive. Men who mess with their minds are not solid relationship material and will be kicked to the curb in short order. Here are a few reasons why women love direct men:
1. Being Direct With a Girl Shows Her You Know What You Want
Playing guessing games might be fun for kids. But when you’re dating, not so much. A real man will not be afraid to make his feelings (or lack thereof) for a woman honestly known. He won’t string her along and play cat-and-mouse games. That’s exhausting and frustrating, and life is too stressful already for a woman to have to deal with an immature, overgrown boy.
2. Confidence And Directness Are Sexy
There’s something super sexy about a man who presents himself as confident, honest, and unafraid of what anyone else might think about him.
Unfortunately, the same is not true about a man who seems insecure, unable to express his true feelings, or is constantly worried about what other people think about him. These types of men generally don’t garner respect because they are not secure in who they are as a person.
If you aren’t super confident in who you are, how can you possibly expect any woman to be confident in you? Trust us, she wants a man who is confident in himself. And if you’re confident in who you are, you will likely be direct as well. Honest and direct men are generally known as alpha males, and they are the group of men who have women falling all over themselves to get to. Women know an alpha male will go after what he really wants. And deep down, women want to be pursued, not to be the pursuer.
3. You Won’t Be Wasting Your Or Her Time
While it might be uncomfortable for both people, a direct and honest man will tell the truth if he is not feeling a connection after taking a woman on a date or two. But the good news is, he won’t be afraid to say it if he IS feeling this woman! Direct men won’t continue to string a woman along and manipulate her because they’re just interested in getting laid.
When you’re direct and honest with a woman from the start, you start to gain her trust and confidence. If she knows you have a direct personality, she will trust you to be able to discuss any problems that might pop up in the relationship – because no relationship is absolutely problem-free. But she will trust that you are willing to work through any issues rather than jump ship at the first inkling of a problem.
She will trust that you are fully invested in your relationship. Instead of running, she will know that you are willing to meet any problems head-on and address them, which can ultimately only strengthen a relationship.
Being Too Direct – When is It Too Much (And Rude)?
There is a fine line between being direct with a girl, and coming off like an arrogant, rude a$$hole. Let’s break down the difference.
Every single thought that comes into your mind does not need to come out of your mouth, unfiltered. When you feel the need to state what, in your mind, is the unvarnished truth without thinking of how it will affect someone, then you’re “that” guy – the rude jerk who will undoubtedly turn a woman off and kill a budding relationship.
Women generally appreciate an honest, direct guy. But think about what you’re about to say before it leaves your lips. If you’re not crazy about the outfit she’s wearing, or her roommate, or the fact that she owns six cats and you’re not a cat person at all, it’s not necessary to say so. Being direct with a girl isn’t about creating conflict, at least not in a way that comes across as hurtful and offensive.
The difference lies in considering her feelings. If you’re trying to be in a relationship with her, it’s going to be pretty important. If you’re more insistent on telling her what you believe is the truth, as opposed to caring about her and not wanting to hurt her, she’s going to start to pull away from you.
At the end of the day, women appreciate directness and honesty, but not at the expense of feeling respected, protected, and cared for. A little kindness will go a long way towards improving your relationship.