Definition of a real man: The traits you must have to become one

We live in an era where being a real man doesn’t mean what it once did.   Back in the old days, real men were portrayed as tough, rough, serious, and superior to women.  Going back to the stone age, men were even tougher and more violent. They had to be to survive and protect themselves and their families.  The definition of a real man is constantly changing, but the principle remains the same. The definition of a real man is a man who’s grounded, dependable and strong.

In today’s society, prehistoric traits are no longer necessary. Some of these traits go against the norm, and how we believe men should behave in a civilized society.  A lot of what defined a man years ago is not only unnecessary but unacceptable.

portrait of  masculine man in sunglasses and suit

To Be A Real Man, Be Masculine

The definition of a real man has changed throughout our history and evolution. While masculinity appears to be in a decline, what makes a man a real man is just that-masculinity.  In today’s world, a real man is a man who stands up for himself and on his own feet.  He is a provider, a protector, and dependable.  He’s strong physically, mentally, and emotionally while maintaining his independence.

We live in a society that is (mostly) peaceful.  Our survival isn’t threatened and our basic needs as humans are met with relative ease.  That being said, even in today’s world, being a real man has its advantages and, on some occasions, can make the difference between success and failure.

Why You Should Be A Real Man

Being a real man will help you overcome life’s challenges.  A real man is someone who can handle life’s curveballs, doesn’t give up, and ends up just fine in the end.  While you don’t have to go out and kill in order to eat and survive, you still do have to be competitive to get a job so you can buy food.  You don’t have to build tools for hunting. But knowing how to work with your hands and use tools will make you qualified for manual labor jobs, or fixing things around the house.  

man working on his motorcycle in the garage

Real man characteristics help in your romantic relationships, too. Women are inclined to choose men with certain masculine traits.  These traits are hardwired in the female brain to signal a potential partner with good genes. Someone who can provide and protect.  Most women don’t view “weak” men as potential love partners and are generally less interested in them.   After all, and if it’s true that opposites attract, it only makes sense. A feminine, fragile, and sensitive woman wants to find balance in someone who can provide what she lacks and make her feel safe.

Definition of a real man in a relationship

In a relationship, the definition of a real man depends on the type of relationship and the dynamics.  If we’re talking about dating, what makes a real man is different than a man who’s married with kids.

In a serious relationship or a marriage, a real man takes the role of the provider.  If he doesn’t have to, he still needs to have that ability.  If kids are involved, a real man has to be a good father.

When it comes to dating and attracting women, a man is a real man when he knows how to handle his emotions (and rejection).  He knows he has value, knows what he wants, and has worked on himself long enough to be in this position. This type of man knows what women want, how to attract them, and how to treat them.

What makes a real man in a relationship is how he behaves within the relationship.  He has to be in control without being controlling (and abusive).  He should be in control of the direction the relationship takes. Be aware of his feelings and maintain the ability to make the right decisions, and make the woman in his life feel safe, secure, and special in his own way.

Characteristics that make a real man

  • Confidence

Sounds cliché, but this is the most important trait in a man.  A man who lacks confidence is in a constant state of mind that doesn’t allow him to be or act manly.  Women do not consider a man a man if they sense a lack of confidence.

  • Strength

Physical and emotional.  A real man is someone who has physical strength.  While this in itself doesn’t define the level of “manliness”, it does help with the image.  People perceive buff guys as more manly, and women are more attracted to them.  Emotional strength is the real deal though.  You can’t be a real man if you can’t control your emotions.  To have a sensitive side is one thing, but constant whiners, crybabies, and those that can’t keep their cool are not seen as real men.

  • Attitude

Real men tend to have a unique perspective on life and relationships.  If you want to become a real man, you need to stop taking everything so lightly.  Take actions and realize there are certain things in life that require your attention and focus.  Aim to make the right decisions when deciding on anything that will have an impact on your life in the long term. 

  • Genuine Connections

When it comes to relationships, choose your partner wisely. Make friends with those who are supportive and are good friends you can rely on.  Real men don’t care for the number of friends they have, and go for quality over quantity.

  • Dependability

This includes keeping your word and being trustworthy.  Real men have a solid personality and they deliver on what they promise and is expected of them.

  • Good Values

They believe in hard work, honesty, and fairness.  Think of someone you consider a real man, and you will notice he possesses good values.  Guys who manipulate, lie, steal and have no moral compass and are almost subhuman. They’re nowhere near a man, let alone a real one.

How To be a real man

Work on improving every aspect of your life.  Find your purpose and stay on it.  Work on your goals and do whatever it takes to achieve them.  When it comes to women, understand what women want and avoid treating them in ways that make you less of a man.  Work on your confidence, charm, self-esteem, be on top of your finances, and live a healthy lifestyle. 

At the end of the day, what it means to be a real man is to become the best version of you.

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