Things seem to have headed down the wrong course in your relationship. You’ve tried being more attentive, adding some extra romance, spending alone time with each other, but nothing seems to be working. Your girlfriend finally comes out and says it, she wants to take a break. How should you respond and what do you do when your girl wants a break?
When your girlfriend asks for a break the best thing to do is accept it and do nothing. You should give her the space and time she needs to assess the relationship on her own.
While this may be difficult, there’s a reason that the relationship got to this point. Pushing an ultimatum or continuing to crowd her will just makes things worse.
What Does it Mean When Your Girl Wants a Break?
When your girlfriend asks for a break it could mean several different things. It’s important to control your emotions and listen to her reasoning when she asks to take a break. Your chances of staying together differ based on the reasoning. Here are some common reasons girls want to take a break.
- She’s Too Afraid to Break Up with You
A lot of women use a “break” as the first step in ending the relationship. They may still be deciding whether or not they want to end it for good, or simply just too afraid to end it there and then.
- You Were Being Too Needy
If you don’t have any activities or friendships outside of the relationship, girls can begin to feel overwhelmed. When your girlfriend asks for space, it means that she wants some alone time. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you, just that she doesn’t want to be with you for every waking second.
- You Aren’t Meeting Her Wants
If you are moving too slow or too fast in the relationship, she may want to take some time to assess if you are the right fit for her. It’s important to listen to her verbal cues before getting to this point. For example, if she keeps hinting at marriage and that’s not something you want, then you should have a serious discussion about that.
- She Wants to Test the Waters
She might also want to try sleeping around or dating another guy that she has lined up. In this instance, she’s basically using you as a lifeline in case she doesn’t like the alternatives.
- You’ve Been a Bad Boyfriend
Her wanting to take a break could also be a result of how you were acting in the relationship. If you were treating her poorly, being unfaithful, or not putting in the effort then she may want to take some time to assess if you are the right guy for her. She could also be using the break as a wake-up call to show you what life without her would be like.
What to Do If Your Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break
Regardless of the reason, there are a few steps you should take if your girlfriend asks for a break.
Understand the Reason
The first step is to understand the reason why your girl wants a break. You can work on bettering yourself or the relationship in the future if you don’t understand what led to your girlfriend wanting to take a break.
Before taking the break you should establish clear boundaries with your girlfriend. Address the following questions:
- Does she want you to check in at all?
- Are you both expected to remain faithful?
- Is there any sort of timeline?
- Are there certain places you should both avoid?
It’s essential to understand the terms of the break to avoid future issues. It would be horrible to end the break just to find out that one of you wasn’t being faithful when you were expected to.
Give Her Space
After you understand the boundaries, you should give her time. This means that you shouldn’t contact her at all. If your relationship is strong, this time will give her the opportunity to reflect on what a great guy you are and actually end up strengthening the relationship.
Don’t Wait Too Long
You shouldn’t let the break last too long. The length of time varies based on the length of your relationship, but a good rule of thumb is two weeks. This doesn’t mean that you should force her to make a decision on moving forward with the relationship within two weeks, but you should at least check in with her to let her know that you are thinking about her.
Also Read: Ignoring Her When She Goes Cold
Should I Text My Girlfriend During the Break?
If your girlfriend is asking for space, then you should not text her. This will ultimately aggravate her and make her feel like you aren’t respecting her wishes. As hard as it may be, it’s best to stay out of communication with your ex during the break. You have to trust that your actions during the relationship were good enough to make her want to come back to you.
The exception to this rule is after the break has lasted a while. You should send a ‘thinking about you’ text if the break has lasted more than two weeks.
Is Taking a Break in a Relationship Healthy?
Taking a break can be healthy for a relationship depending on the intentions. If your girlfriend loves you but is really just overwhelmed by your constant presence, then a break could be a good thing. This is why strong couples plan activities and trips away from each other. As they say, “distance makes the heart grow fonder.”
It’s usually not healthy if the reason for the break is to sleep with other people or test the dating waters. Being held in reserve as a backup plan can put some serious tension on a relationship.
The key to successfully getting back together after a break is understanding why the break happened in the first place, setting clear boundaries, giving her the space she needs, and then reflecting on how you can improve the relationship.