How Can a Shy Guy Attract a Girl? It’s Easier Than You Think

Most girls find guys attractive because of their confidence and charming personality. While looks do help, it’s harder to attract a girl if you can’t hold a conversation. This will make you wonder how can a shy guy attract a girl, and is it even possible?

how can a shy guy attract a girl

Shy guys can attract a girl by meeting the right girl at the right place. They can do this by taking a risk without fearing rejection. A shy guy can attract the right girl if he can step out of his comfort zone for a few moments.

While shy guys may not be scoring girls left and right, they do have the ability to attract the right kind of girl for them. This may actually play into a shy guy’s favor because a girl that’s not right for them simply won’t be attracted to them.

Being shy, on the other hand, has its benefits. There are women who are drawn to mysterious, timid, and low-key guys.

For them, it is harder to find a guy they like because these types of guys rarely pursue them or know how to show interest.

Working up the courage to approach a girl will increase your chances of scoring a date than taking no action at alllike most shy guys do.

Also Read: 10 Dating Tips For Shy Guys

couple flirting holding books over their face

How to Get a Girlfriend if You’re Antisocial

Three things come into play when attracting a girl when you are antisocial:

  • Where you meet
  • The type of girl you meet
  • Your willingness to leave your comfort zone

If these three things fall into place, then you are likely to find a girlfriend. Let’s take a look at the right circumstances for each factor.

Meeting a Girl at the Right Location

If you’re shy and antisocial you probably don’t go out to bars and clubs that often.

The type of girls that go out every weekend probably isn’t the type that you are going to attract.

And that’s ok.

You’re probably not looking for a party girl either.

Instead, you should look to meet a girl at one of the following places:

  • Work
  • Coffee shop
  • School
  • Dating apps

These places work well in that there is ample opportunity for you to make your move. Not only you’re likely to see the girl again, but the environment is more suitable for your personality.

If you find a girl you like and don’t want to make a move right away, you don’t have to. You’ll have another chance next time you see her.

You can wait until you have the courage or are feeling social enough to approach her.

Attracting The Right Girl as a Shy Guy

When you are a shy guy, not every girl is going to be attracted to you. Girls tend to like guys who display confidence and charisma. However, just because you are shy does not mean that you lack either trait.

The right girl for a shy guy is one that is willing to take the time to get to know them. This type of girl will allow them to come out of their shell at their own pace.

Unfortunately, there’s no way to know if a girl is the “right” type for you when you first approach her.

Instead, it’s important to not get discouraged by rejection. Consider being rejected as part of the process that every guy goes through. Even the most outgoing guys can get rejected.

By being shy, you’re removing girls from your dating pool that wouldn’t be compatible with you anyway. This doesn’t mean your options are limited, but what you’re looking for in a girl is more defined.

Taking a Chance at the Right Time

At some point, you are going to need to leave your comfort zone and take a chance in order to get a girl.

Girls rarely approach guys first even when they know how difficult it is for a shy guy to approach them.

Therefore, when you see a girl that you like you need to act confident as much as you can.

The purpose isn’t to come across as someone you’re not, but acting confident will help you make a move.

The girl will be flattered by the fact that you took a risk and had the courage to talk to her- and that is a form of confidence in itself.

woman showing attraction to guy

Should You Tell a Girl That You’re Shy?

You don’t need to tell a girl that you are shy. She will either know you are based on the interaction or can find out once she takes the time to get to know you. It’s up to her to make the decision if she’s willing to give you a chance based on your personality-but don’t feel that being shy is something you should be upfront about.

Looking presentable, being friendly, and approaching her the right way is far more important in making a first good impression.

So how can a shy guy attract a girl if the girl doesn’t know he’s shy?

If it makes you more comfortable to let her know, say something like “Being a shy guy, I’d normally be too nervous to approach a pretty girl, but I just had to come over and say hello”.

With a line like this, you are letting her know you’re shy, yet confident.

However, there are times when you can use being shy to your advantage. Some girls are attracted to the challenge of trying to get a shy guy out of their shell.

In instances like these, you can be playful by acting reluctant to do social things like go dancing or to a bar. The key is to only “act” reluctant. You should allow the girl to help you out of your comfort zone.

How to Ask a Girl Out on a Date When You Are Shy

When you find a girl that you like, the only way to get her to go out with you is to ask her out on a date. Even if you’ve worked up the courage to talk to a girl, asking her out directly may seem terrifying.

However, there are ways to ask a girl on a date without being overtly direct.

couple flirting

Gauge Her Interest

Instead of directly asking, “want to go out sometime?” you can gauge a girl’s interest in going on a date with you through conversation.

Ask her what her favorite food is and suggest you go out to eat together. For example, if she tells you she likes sushi you can say something like, “I haven’t had sushi in a long time, we should go eat together sometime.”

If she likes the idea and agrees, then you’re in and you can suggest a specific date and time. If she seems unsure it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not into you. Just continue the conversation as if nothing happened.

Send a Follow-up Text

If you can’t work up the courage to ask her out in person, send a follow-up text after you have hung out.

Talking to a girl through text is more comfortable when you’re shy. It gives you time to craft the perfect message and press “send” when you’re ready.

If you had a conversation at work or met her someplace in public, send her a follow-up text to let her know you enjoyed talking to her, and maybe give her a compliment on something she was wearing that day.

You don’t want to ask her out on a date right away. Instead, try to understand if she’s interested based on how she responds to your texts.

If she seems like she is, direct the conversation towards a topic that will allow you the opportunity to ask her out-like asking what type of food she likes then suggesting you go out to eat together sometime.

Of course, in order to do this, you would need to ask for her number. The good news is, if she has given you her phone number, she’s probably interested in going on a date with you.

Except when a girl gives her number with no intention to ever respond. This often happens, and if it does, just move on.

attractive couple in bedroom

Can Shy Guys Get Laid?

Of course, shy guys can get laid. While shy guys probably won’t be having too many one-night stands, that doesn’t mean you can’t hook up with a girl that you go on a date with or are in a relationship with.

If you’re a shy guy and you’re only looking for a one-night stand, then dating apps are your best option. It’s a lot easier for shy people to communicate their intentions over text.

If you both go on the date intending to hook up, then shy people can go on the date feeling more confident that the night will end in success.


Stop worrying about how can a shy guy attract a girl. Instead, focus on meeting and becoming more comfortable around women. Gain experience talking to them, and this will come with practice. Soon, you’ll start noticing what works and doesn’t work in approaching women.

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