There’s no doubt that you are a cool guy with good intentions. When you approach an attractive girl you‘re interested in, all you want is to start a conversation and see if there’s a connection. Your goal is to break the ice, see if she’s interested, and take it from there. The problem is, she doesn’t know that. In her mind, you could be a nice, friendly guy or a serial killer. Possibly, someone who wouldn’t take no for an answer and wouldn’t leave her alone. She is taking a risk with every guy that approaches her to start a conversation, and more than likely, she has had some awful experiences in the past. It’s important you learn how not to be creepy when approaching and flirting with women.
What Makes Someone Creepy?
The definition of “creepy” differs from person to person, and woman to woman. The most common way to describe what it means to be creepy is someone who makes others uncomfortable with his behavior. When it comes to women, his approach is off-putting and plain weird. A creepy guy is someone unpleasant that no girl wants around. Women are not only repelled by him, but they may feel threatened, tense, or disgusted. Coming across as creepy and weird is not only bad for women. Being creepy can hinder your efforts in meeting women and forming a connection.
10 Ways To Stop Being Creepy
The first thing a woman will notice as you approach her is how you look. This doesn’t mean you have nothing to fear if you‘re a good-looking guy, or that you can’t make a good first impression if you’re less than average. What’s more important is to look presentable. This means wear clean clothes, have good hygiene, and look like you take care of yourself. A bonus to looking presentable is you will feel more confident which will help make a good impression and be less creepy.
Work On Your Approach
There are things to consider when you plan to make the first move. Consider the setting and the environment. Ideally, you want to approach a woman where she feels safe and not where she would least expect it. You have a much better chance approaching her at a bar, for example, than if she was walking to her car alone in an empty parking lot.
Think about how you get her attention and what you tell her, as well. Make sure she doesn’t look your way for the wrong reasons and don’t say anything inappropriate when you first start talking to her.
Read Her Body Language
A common characteristic of creepy guys is they’re delusional. They have no idea that they are being creepy and how they‘re making the other person feel. While it’s within your control to make a good first impression, it’s also a responsibility to be aware of how she’s reacting to it. Notice if she seems relaxed and welcoming, read her body language, and look out for any signs that show she’s feeling uncomfortable or threatened.
Watch How You Talk
You can be creepy not only by the things you say but how you tell them. This includes your tone of voice. Don’t try to sound seductive by deepening your voice or using long pauses in your speech. Speak like you normally do otherwise you‘ll sound weird and creep her out.
Flirt, But Go Easy
While there’s nothing wrong with approaching women by giving them a compliment, how you flirt makes a difference. Realize that when a woman is approached by a stranger, she naturally has her guard up. You have to assume she’s almost looking for reasons to turn you down as her defense mechanism has kicked in. When you do flirt, be polite and keep it casual. To avoid looking creepy, refrain from bringing up anything sexual. To be safe, don’t mention anything about her looks. Instead, approach her by saying you noticed her and you wanted to come to say hi.
A big part of being creepy is the inability to respect boundaries. Don’t get too close physically, and don’t force yourself in her personal space. Keep your distance and be close enough to have a normal conversation, but not so close she’ll feel agonized or threatened. This includes touching, which you should avoid at all costs when approaching a girl for the first time. A handshake is fine.
Don’t Be Nosy
I get it. You want her to know you’re interested in her and figured asking her questions about herself is the way to do it. Perhaps you genuinely want to know more about her. There’s a time and place to really get to know someone. When you‘re approaching a woman for the first time, regardless of where you are, it’s neither the right time nor place. Show you’re interested while abstaining from being nosy. When you‘re first meeting a woman, you don’t know if she is interested in you, to begin with. So, don’t expect her to be willing to share information about herself, her job, or where she lives. You can ask for her name, and what she does for a living, but it’s none of your business to know her last name or the physical location where she works.
Look her way, but don’t be creepy. If you noticed that she noticed you looking, smile and prepare to walk up to her and introduce yourself. Don’t look at her long enough for her to think “Why is this guy looking at me?” unless she’s also interested, checking you out and smiling back. In a conversation, don’t stare anywhere but “up there” where her eyes are. When you‘re checking out her body while talking to her, she’ll know you‘re having sexual thoughts and that’s just creepy and inappropriate. Don’t overdo it with eye contact either.
Don’t Try Too Hard
Another way you come across as creepy is by trying too hard not to look creepy. When you are too nice or very friendly, a woman will automatically assume there is something you want from her, which can creep her out. You should be friendly, but don’t be smiling forcefully, and not every single word that comes out of your mouth needs to be a compliment.
Don’t Make Her Feel Trapped
The last thing you want to do is force her to partake in the interaction when she doesn’t want to. In addition to giving her space and knowing what to say and how to talk to her, it’s important you give her a chance to end the conversation if that’s what she wants. This means know how to take hints when she’s not interested, and don’t physically block her path by standing directly in front of her.
How To Give A Girl Your Number Without Being Creepy
You conversation with the girl went well and it’s time to either ask for her number or give her yours. To play it safe, offer to give her your number. The reason is, the majority of women aren’t comfortable giving their number to a guy they just met. They don’t know if you‘re the type of guy that will keep calling or how you will react when she decides to not answer your calls or answer your texts.
When you don’t have her number but she has yours, that puts her in control and at ease. You are still making your intentions clear, that you want to keep in touch, while you avoid coming across creepy by not asking her to give you her number which she may not feel comfortable doing. How to give a girl your number without being creepy is simple. Tell her you‘d like to keep in touch and write your name and number on a piece of paper. A smiley face is optional.
The right time to give your number is after you had a short conversation and she showed interest in talking to you. Make sure to let her know that she can call or text you if she’d like, and don’t act or imply you will be waiting for her to reach out to you.
How To Flirt Without Being Creepy
Flirting is the go-to way to show you‘re into her. It’s also a way to ruin any chances you might have had if you do it the wrong way. Coming on too strong will give off the wrong vibe, and you risk coming across as desperate, and creepy. To avoid being creepy when you flirt:
Sneak A Compliment In The Conversation
Don’t compliment her expecting a response. Instead, give a compliment while you‘re having a conversation and continue the conversation without waiting for her reaction. Compliments in a conversation work well since they feel genuine rather than planned ahead of time.
It’s hard to give a compliment with a serious face and not look creepy. Instead, have a fun lighthearted conversation and say something nice you noticed about her with a genuine smile on your face. Every time you talk about something funny or a fun subject, you have an opportunity to flirt in a way she will receive well and appreciate.
Flirt When The Time Is Right
To walk up to a woman and let her know how beautiful her hair looks, while it’s an innocent compliment she will likely appreciate, there’s a chance she will find it weird. After all, it is a random thing for someone to do, especially coming from a complete stranger. Instead, when you notice her trying to fix her hair then it’s more appropriate (and relevant) to give her a compliment and let her know she has really nice hair.
How Not To Be Creepy Texting A Girl
The first rule to not being creepy when texting a girl is don’t text her when she isn’t expecting a text from you. This means she doesn’t know you have her number or how you got it. Do not text a girl whose number you found any other way other than her giving it to you.
If you haven’t talked in a long time, don’t send her a message giving her a compliment. Chances are she doesn’t have your number saved anymore or doesn’t remember who you are. She definitely wasn’t expecting a text from you to be flirtatious in nature.
For the times that she does expect you to text her, keep your messages short, fun, and non-sexual. Avoid sending too many texts, especially when she’s slow to respond. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t send naked pictures of yourself, or ask her to send you naked pictures of her.
How Not To Be Creepy Online
The online world is a place where you feel you can be yourself and where people can’t judge you. This is partly true, but not so much when it comes to online dating. The rules to follow to avoid coming across as creepy online are the same as the rules of real life. In fact, you have to be especially careful when talking to a woman online since she will judge you based on your behavior. Even if you‘re the most awesome dude in real life without an ounce of creepiness in you there’s no way for her to know. To avoid being creepy online, don’t:
- Send too many messages
- Click like or comment on all her pictures
- Follow her on every social media account
- Write inappropriate comments on her profile
- Be the first to like or comment her new posts
You should always be aware of how you approach and go about starting a conversation with a girl. To make a good first impression, take the tips from this article and apply them in your romantic endeavors going forward. Women will appreciate it when you approach them in a normal, comfortable, and respectful way. No woman is attracted to a creepy man. You should make sure you don’t come across as one when meeting and flirting with a woman you’re interested in.