How To Ask Her Out in Person & Over Text (10 Things to Say)

So you like a girl and want to know how to ask her out but you don’t want to get rejected or come off like a creeper? Does the thought of approaching your crush have you shaking in your boots with intimidation?

Here’s everything you need to know on how to make a successful move and show that special girl you’re into her. Read on!

couple on a date

How To Make a Move On a Girl And Show You’re Interested

First things first: Before you start thinking about how to ask her out, make sure she’s single and available. And make sure that she is interested in you to begin with by observing the signs she wants you to make a move.

If you don’t know this girl yet but she is making eye contact and smiling at you often, touching her hair or playing with her jewelry, those are all good signs that she’s interested.

If you do know her and you’ve been hanging out as friends or in a group, take note of things like this: does she seem to enjoy talking to you? Does she ask you questions about yourself? Does she smile often and laugh at your jokes? Does she find ways to touch you often?

If so, she is almost certainly into you – as the Magic 8-Ball would say, “Signs point to YES!”

Get To Know Her 

Get her comfortable around you by showing interest in her. Ask her a lot of questions about her and her likes and dislikes. Don’t overdo it, but show her that you’re interested in her as a person, and not just physically.

Women are more likely to give you a shot when you take the time to get to know them a bit instead of just jumping right in and making a move on them. 

Use Your Body Language

Keep your eyes focused on her eyes and face. Your direct eye contact will show her your intense interest and give her a hint that you want to make a move on her.

You could also steal a few glances at her lips, which will indicate that you’re thinking about what it might be like to kiss her.

While talking, make sure your full body is oriented towards her. Also lean in while she is talking to you. Not only does that close any distance between you, but it lets her know that you are actually intrigued by what she is saying.

Women appreciate active listeners and now is the time to show you are that guy. 

Find The Right Atmosphere

Whether you are asking her on a date or going in for the kiss, you will want to make sure you have the proper setting. A romantic dinner, the beach, or her favorite park will set the right vibes and help her to relax and feel comfortable.

At a noisy nightclub or in the New York subway at rush hour, on the other hand, probably isn’t the best time.

Make The Move!

By now you should be able to gauge this girl’s level of interest and feel whether sparks are flying between the two of you. If you’re pretty sure she’s okay with it, now is the time to make your move.

(Pro tip: we suggest asking permission from her before doing anything physical like kissing her. This way you’re sure there’s no room for misinterpretation.)

How To Ask a Girl Out

Many guys find it easier to ask a girl out via text because it eliminates the need for a possibly humiliating rejection and retains a level of anonymity. However, it’s also much easier to misinterpret things over text, so some guys prefer a personal encounter. 

Here are a few ways you can work your way up to asking a girl out via text. 

happy woman on bed reading a text

How To Ask Her Out Over Text

1. Start with an interesting, engaging or funny opening.

Don’t be boring right out of the gates! Don’t just send her a text that says “hey” or “Wyd.” You can do better than that. Women won’t appreciate having to do all the work to keep the conversation flowing.

Remember this: If you send a one-word message, you’ll probably only get a one-word reply, or worse, none at all.  

Sending her a text something like “Hey! What was the best part of your day today?” or “If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?” are much more interesting and likely to elicit a better response from your crush. 

2. Don’t be pushy.

If you’re texting her and feel like she isn’t really into the conversation, it’s probably best to let it end and try again later, or in a day or two. 

Women make decisions based on their current emotional state. Maybe she had a bad day at work or she’s not feeling well. Or maybe she’s just really busy. So if she’s normally friendly to you over text but has been replying with curt or one-word answers, it’s best to pop the big question at another time. 

3. Keep the conversation going

If she is replying and showing interest in your texts, awesome!  Now you need to find ways to keep the conversation going. If you’re naturally charismatic and charming, you probably won’t have any difficulty with that. 

But maybe you’re shy and introverted. Not to worry. Remember that most people love to talk about themselves. So ask her questions about herself, or what she likes to do. It might help to do a bit of research in advance to find out what interests her. Then you’ll know what to say if the conversation dries up.

couple making eye contact

4. Gradually steer the conversation toward the idea of a date

Say you’ve been texting back and forth for a while, and you’re wondering when to ask the big question. Don’t rush it, but perhaps float the idea of an activity – a concert or a new movie that just came out – and test the waters to see whether she would have any interest in attending before actually inviting her to go. 

5. Ask Her Out!

If you’re really interested in dating this girl, at some point you actually need to work up the courage to ask her on a date. We’re going to get more into the specifics of how to actually do that in a minute.

Remember – if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no! 

If you feel nervous or you think she will be about the prospect of a date, it might make sense to ask her on a “group date.” Ask her to go to a club or to the movies or to dinner with a group of friends. She will likely be more willing to go out with you if she’s with her squad and won’t feel the pressure of a one-on-one date.

Once she’s more comfortable around you, you can ask her out on a date with just the two of you. 

6. Have a Specific Plan in Place

Once you’ve gotten your crush to say yes to a date, you now need to actually come up with an activity. Women aren’t generally too crazy about going out with a guy who doesn’t have a plan. We know of many women who dumped a guy because they were tired of constantly having to make all the plans.

If you don’t want to do the cliche coffee or dinner date, do a quick Internet search and find out what activities are happening in your city. 

If you know she’s a foodie, maybe there’s a food festival going on that you can take her to. Maybe she’s an active type and you can go biking, hiking or paddle boarding. Maybe she loves art and there is a gallery exhibit opening she’d like to attend.

Be creative with your plans and she is likely to appreciate your effort. 

7. Work Out the Details

Be confident without being authoritative. You can say, “Tomorrow I’ll pick you up at 7:00 if that works for you.” This will show her that you are a man with a plan but are also respectful of her time. Women appreciate a man who can take responsibility and be in control of a situation. 

attractive woman at the pool

How To Ask a Girl Out In Person

Asking a girl out face-to-face can definitely be more intimidating for a guy than asking her over text. Here are several pointers on how to ask her out to make sure you get her to say yes to that date!

Confident Body Language

Many guys will get rejected out of hand by a girl because they don’t approach her with a confident (not cocky, there’s a difference) attitude. Remember, CONFIDENCE IS SEXY. Here are some do’s and don’ts: 


  • Stare at the ground or at anywhere but her
  • Cross your arms in front of you – comes off as aloof and standoffish
  • Slouch – stand tall!
  • Mumble or speak so softly she can’t hear you
  • Fidget or show signs of nervousness


  • Make direct eye contact
  • Smile
  • Keep your shoulders down and back
  • Keep your chest forward 

Don’t be intimidating, but take up as much space as you can to show you are confident and comfortable with your body. 

Dress For Success

We’re not saying you need to be rocking a custom-tailored Gucci suit when you ask her out – but neither should you look like a slob. Keep the stained T-shirts, holey sweatpants and dirty tennis shoes at home. Dress to express your personality, but keep it neat and classy. 

Make Eye Contact

If you’re in line at Starbucks and the cutie at the corner table catches your eye, start by giving a few brief glances in her direction. You can gradually make your gaze a little longer, but don’t stare at her for more than a few seconds unless you want her to see you as a creep.

If you catch her peeping back at you with a smile, it’s a good sign that the feeling is mutual.

The Approach

It’s easier said than done, but try not to overthink it. As we’ve said before, women are attracted to confident men. 

Take a deep breath or two and tell yourself “I got this.” Just walk up to her and say “Hi.” It would also be helpful if you could find something to compliment her on – say her smile, cool tattoo, or her outfit. 

You could also just get right to the point and say something like, “Hi! I know this is a little random, but  you caught my eye and I’d like to get to know you better. I know you’re probably busy, but do you think I could get your phone number?” 

young couple outside

What to Say When Asking a Girl Out

So you’ve followed our pointers and you’ve gotten to the point where you’re ready to ask her out. Remember that even if she says no, your life will go on. You’ll find someone else willing to go out with you.

However, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? 

If you’re not sure how to ask her out, here are 10 simple texts you can send her (or ask her in person) that will cut to the chase and get you to close the date deal with this girl. 

1. “There’s a new sushi (Mexican/Chinese/Thai) restaurant that just opened up a few blocks from my place. Would you like to try it out with me?” 

2. “Hey, the sun’s out and it’s a beautiful day! Let’s grab lunch and hang out at the park.” 

3. “Congrats on your new job (apartment/anything worth celebrating)! Why don’t you let me take you out to celebrate?” 

4. “I’m dying for a coffee…wanna come with?”

5. “I suck at dancing. You want to come to the club and laugh at me this weekend?” 

6. “So what time should I pick you up on Friday?” (simple, straightforward and exudes confidence!)

7. “So when are you going to take me out?” – It’s pretty forward, but is nearly guaranteed to get a reaction from her!

8. “I tried to get up the courage to ask you out. Would you please make it easier for me?”

9. “Hey, let’s have a contest – two dates, two restaurants. Whoever picks the best one wins.” (This gets you both a first and a second date guaranteed!)

10. “I was going to go to (insert name of amusement park here) this weekend and hit all the big rollercoasters. Wanna hold my hand in case I get scared?”

How to Be Smooth and Avoid Being Creepy

A recent podcast called The Mating Grounds made the statement that  “Women’s deepest fear when interacting with a man is that he will kill/hurt her. A man’s deepest fear when interacting with a new woman is that she will sexually humiliate him.

Understanding this can help you understand all male/female interactions.” Simply put, if you’re a guy trying to approach a woman, In other words, if you are a man approaching a woman, do your best to make sure that she feels safe and protected while you’re laying on the charm.

Don’t be overly aggressive or persistent in trying to contact a woman after you meet her – that gives stalker vibes and you’ll come across as creepy, and isn’t a good look on you.

Make sure you give her both physical and psychological space when you interact with her in person—don’t be too “touchy-feely” and don’t bring up the subject of sex too early or too often. 

how to ask her out

Cute and Creative Ways to Ask a Girl Out

  • Write A Note

In this era of constant texting, who writes notes anymore? A sweet handwritten note from you will remind her of the days of passing notes back and forth in school.

Write her a note on a napkin or slip of paper and slip it to her as you’re talking – or leave it in a conspicuous place where she’s sure to find it. 

  • Bring Her Flowers

Bringing a girl flowers is a classic, timeless and thoughtful gesture that is sure to rack up points for you. We don’t know any girls who wouldn’t appreciate receiving a bouquet – or even a single rose. 

  • Buy Tickets

Find out what she likes to do – whether it’s going to a museum, concert, play or movie. Buy tickets for that and ask her to go with you. She will appreciate that you took the time to research her interests

  • Buy Her a Small Gift and Attach a Message To It

Whether it’s a cute stuffed animal or her favorite cookies or sweets, your crush is sure to be impressed by your thoughtful efforts. 


We hope we’ve provided you with lots of useful tips on how to ask her out to help you get that date with the girl of your dreams. Remember to be confident, and even if she says “no”, life goes on.

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