Let’s start by setting one thing straight: Unless you have a twin brother or sister, you‘re the only person on earth that looks exactly like you. On top of that, no other person on earth thinks like you or has the same interests and life experiences as yours. You already are somewhat cool. In fact, even if you do have a twin sibling that in itself makes you (both) cool.
What makes a person cool?
A person who is confident, easy going and fun to be around. Personal accomplishments and experiences that aren’t common or achievable by most people make you cool. The word cool is subjective. We often use it to describe someone we aspire to be or wish we were. In reality, all it takes to become one is for people to perceive you as such.
It is important to remember that no matter how amazing or awesome you become, not everyone will think you are. There is no one size fits all when it comes to coolness, and there’s definitely no universal definition. You can’t please everybody; and like the cool guy that you are, it shouldn’t matter.
That said, there are common traits among cool people. There are some dos (and don’ts) to work on in your journey to becoming an awesome version of yourself, and people will notice.
How to be cool: The 16 things to do
1. Have the right mindset
If you don’t believe you‘re cool, you‘ll never be. The first person to think you‘re cool should be you. To do this, think about all the things you stand for and believe in. All the things you like about yourself and would never give up. What is one thing others lack that you have? It can be anything. This is your foundation. From there, it’s about adjusting, polishing, and projecting that awesome personality of yours.
2. Imagine it
What would a cooler version of you look like? Once you envision it yourself, it becomes easier to become it. Think of all the ways you can improve upon, and get to work.
3. Stop trying
You can’t fake it ‘til you make it. If you‘re trying to be cool it will be obvious and will have the opposite effect. You have better chances to come across as cool being yourself than pretending to be someone you‘re not.
4. Study cool people
Pay attention to how cool people speak and behave. How they hold a conversation and present themselves. There are reasons why you may think someone is cool. Think of someone that you think is cool, and understand what it is about him that makes him.
5. Don’t spend money
A common assumption when it comes to being more interesting is that you have to spend money on flashy things. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Being cool is about you as a person, and no material thing can replace. Spend money on things you need and want, or to improve you, but not to impress people. When you spend money you‘re trying too hard, and as mentioned earlier that will have the opposite effect.
6. Dress the part
Aim for a balance between looking good and being comfortable. Don’t be afraid to try new fashion trends but only do so if they align with your personality and comfort level. Avoid dressing for the sole purpose of attracting attention to you. Again, stop trying.
7. Talk less
You don’t need to be the most outgoing and talkative person. It is far more important to talk when you actually have something to say. Don’t speak out of fear that you‘ll come across as awkward if you don’t. When you do speak, tell it like it is and express your opinion. Do it with style and speak calmly and to the point. Avoid offending others, when you can.
8. Build confidence
You can’t be cool if you lack confidence or people will see right through you. The most important thing to do is to start being confident.
9. Don’t take things seriously
Cool people don’t lose their… cool easily. When you’re facing an important issue you can be tense and serious, as it is expected, but don’t sweat the small stuff. Focus and discipline, are cool peoples’ attributes. Having those will help you settle any important issues that may arise, while remaining awesome.
10. Be more social
Cool people tend to be social and friendly. That’s why they are cool after all; people like them. Don’t be afraid to meet new people and make new connections. Being social will help speed up the “becoming cool” process. Practice your social skills and defending your views in a conversation or an argument. Even when you don’t consider yourself social, don’t be afraid to partake in social interactions. This will put you ahead of all the not-so-cool people that don’t even try.
11. Own your quirks
Don’t let your quirks or imperfections hinder your self-esteem. Use them to your advantage to enhance your coolness and stand out.
12. Go against the norm
Not on purpose, or you risk coming across as trying too hard. But don’t feel the need to be agreeable all the time. Being cool and likable are two different things. While people will like you if you‘re cool, they won’t think you‘re cool only because they like you. Take sides and speak up for your views and beliefs. This isn’t an image you‘re trying to preserve, it’s an image you want to project. Use your unique personality and characteristics, which include your ideals.
13. Watch your (body) language
Body posture and body language are very important. You can’t be cool if your words say “I’m cool” but your body says “I’m awkward”. Body language is subconsciously picked up by those around you. So, focus on looking your best even if you‘re just standing still. There’s no need to say much or be extroverted for people to notice your awesomeness. Let them sense it. Sit up straight, stand up tall and uncross your arms. Practice your poker face, too.
Cool people are likable, and what makes you likable is having positive vibes. Stop whining, complaining, and saying negative things. Try to be open-minded, optimistic and use your words to uplift and encourage others.
15. Be a gentleman
How many rude people do you look up to or want to spend time with? Exactly. Being a gentleman you will appeal to women, too.
16. Relax, man.
Seriously, just relax. Being cool comes naturally and only after you stop worrying about how you come across. Keep in mind, even the coolest people may not even know that they are. Stop stressing about it or worrying about what others think of you.
Bonus: 5 tips to becoming cool
1. Pretend you already know people
To combat social awkwardness and come across as confident, pretend you know the people you‘re talking to. Speak to them like you‘ve known them for a long time and as if they’re good friends. Do this even if you‘re meeting them for the first time. You will be amazed at how smooth the conversation will go.
2. Learn some jokes
Imagine how cool you‘ll look when you tell a good joke to a group of people, and they all laugh. Make sure the joke is appropriate, and work on your delivery.
3. Have a trick up your sleeve
Magic tricks are entertaining and people love them. When you‘re the one performing a magic trick, that people can’t figure out, you‘ll be the coolest person in the group.
4. Stay up to date
Stay on top of current trends, news, and events. Interesting people are aware of what’s going on around them and in the world. This will help you take part in discussions, and express your own opinions as well.
5. Be generous
Be generous with your time and money. Being cool doesn’t mean letting people take advantage of you. But do offer a helping to someone in need-and do tip the waiter/waitress well. Selfishness and stinginess aren’t cool.
We are all somewhat cool and unique by nature. Our uniqueness is what makes us stand out and memorable. Use your uniqueness, and combine it with traits and behaviors that make people look cool. And you’ll become an awesome, improved, and very cool version of yourself.