Being attractive to a woman requires a very fine balance of attentiveness and indifference. Ignoring a woman completely will result in her thinking you’re not interested. Being overly available will make you less attractive to her, so you have to know how to be less available to her. So, how do you become less available?
The key to being less available is to do less. Be yourself, be patient and let her come to you. A girl that is truly interested in you will chase after you.
While “do less” may seem like a relatively easy concept, it’s hard to put into practice when you really want to be with a woman. In this article, we will give you the essential tips for “doing less” and being less available to her.
The Golden Rule: Do Less
Think about it from a guy’s perspective. Would you rather have a girl who is constantly up in your face asking you to do things or the hot girl who is sitting at the bar acting aloof, not giving you any attention?
You probably said that you’d be more into the girl sitting at the bar. It seems counterintuitive, but in order to achieve the same effect on a girl, you need to do less.
In order to do less, you need to:
- Not overthink things
- Allow the relationship to progress naturally
- Don’t be tied down to your expectations
Be yourself and the right girl will come to you. Try too hard and you’ll find yourself always chasing an ‘unattainable’ girl.
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How to be Less Available to Her While Dating
Getting a girl to go on a date with you or talk to you at a bar by doing less is only half the battle. During the early stages of your relationship, it’s equally as important to not seem overly available.
Most of your availability and eagerness to please a girl are communicated when setting up a date. Therefore, a few simple tips can help you seem less available and more attractive to a woman.
Don’t Suggest More than One Day at a Time
When planning the first couple of dates only suggest one day at a time for a date. If you say that you’re free all next week for a date it seems like you may not have much of a life.
Girls are attracted to guys who have hobbies and friends. Make it seem like you only have limited time available for a date to give off the appearance that your time is valuable.
Don’t Make Open-Ended Plans
Saying something like, “let’s grab a drink whenever you’re free” or “whenever is best for you” presents the same problem as suggesting more than one day at a time for a date.
Open-ended plans like these make it look like you’re trying to appease her and make you appear overly available.
Don’t Cancel Your Plans to Go on a Date
You should never cancel existing plans with friends or family to go on a date with a girl that you have just gotten into a relationship with. Doing so presents two negative qualities about your personality.
Firstly, it shows that you are a guy who is willing to blow off his friends for a girl he just met. Girls want guys who will be loyal.
Secondly, it gives the appearance that you think that the relationship is more than just a budding romance.
You are putting a lot of pressure on the girl that you canceled your plans for by showing her that you are willing to choose her over your friendships.
Both of these qualities make you seem needy, over available and unattractive to a woman.
Don’t Tell Her that You Are Doing Nothing
A guy who always responds to a girl’s text asking what he’s doing with, “nothing,” is a guy who will likely never find a girlfriend.
Girls want a guy who is interesting and to be interesting you have to do things. If you are always doing nothing, then a girl will think that you are just waiting for her to come along for your life to start.
Availability in Long-Term Relationships
All the advice above about how to seem unavailable is only attractive when trying to find a girlfriend or at the very beginning of a relationship.
Your approach towards availability should shift dramatically as the relationship gets more serious.
This doesn’t mean you should become a “yes man” and be treated like a doormat in the relationship. When in a serious relationship, one of your priorities is also her, not only her.
Girls want a guy that they can depend on to be there when they need them. Therefore, as things get serious you need to show her that you are available and committed to her.
While seeming unavailable early on attracts a girl initially, availability in the long-term is what keeps the relationship going strong.
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