Today’s society is attempting to emasculate a man and define masculinity in a way that actually deforms, devaluates and destroys it. However, despite what social media and people might say, the concept of masculinity and how to maintain a masculine frame is the same now as it has always been.
Before we go into discussing how to maintain a masculine frame, first we need to understand what a masculine frame is.
Having a masculine frame means to have the qualities or appearance traditionally associated with men. The qualities that are usually associated to masculinity are dominance, strength, independence, assertiveness, bravery and innovation. In other words, men are the leaders, the go getters and the movers of change in a society. Men are usually the ones expected to get things done.
Embrace Your Softer Side
This doesn’t mean that women can’t have these qualities, but these are the qualities that are expected from a man to have. This doesn’t mean men should not develop feminine qualities like being emotional, collaborative, nurturing, vulnerable and caring.
Rather it is part of having a masculine frame to create a balance between the two frames where each frame tempers the other. Balance is necessary but the fact that males should be the ones to be taking a more aggressive and active role as leaders and agents of change
Too much adherence to the masculine frame leads to problems down the road. Dominance, for example will lead to over competitiveness thereby alienating other people.
This in fact becomes problematic in men’s role as leaders as it invites animosity among members of your social group and hampers your role as a leader. If tempered with the collaborating feminine trait, dominance becomes a more acceptable trait.
The same goes with every masculine trait you have. Having a masculine frame does not mean that you forego feminine traits but rather a more conscious combination and balance between the two will allow you to wield more power as a man.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way, then here are some tips in order for you to develop and maintain your masculine traits
Take Responsibility for Your Actions
Many men have gotten into the habit of blaming others when things go wrong. Don’t get me wrong, it is necessary to hold people accountable and point out mistakes in order for them not to be repeated.
However, as leaders and as men, taking responsibility for our own actions is the manly thing to do. Taking full responsibility not just of our own actions that affect our selves but that negatively affect those around us is one of the masculine traits that is slowly becoming lost.
Shifting the blame to other people is an entirely un-masculine thing to do. You need to realize that there are always things you could have done better and things you shouldn’t have done. This is a very powerful frame as it develops in you the confidence and skills necessary to face adversity.
Be Comfortable with Discomfort
Having the ability to face your fears and insecurities and moving forward despite everything that is happening is perhaps the most masculine trait you can have.
As men, we are expected to lead and be the tip of the spear when problems arise. This means that you are willing and prepared to make the changes necessary for you to meet your goals and objectives.
You must be prepared to accept the pain and discomfort that change can bring.
Do you want to be able to take care of your family? Then you should be comfortable with the process of looking for a job and developing your skills to become more marketable to employers. Do you want to live a longer, healthier life? Then you should work on making changes towards a healthy lifestyle. Do you want to learn new things? Then you should be willing to devote time to learning a new skill.
Goals, dreams and ambitions have obstacles that you must overcome in order to reap the rewards. Staying in your comfort bubble will not only leave you stuck in a cycle, but it will also weaken your masculine self-confidence.
On the other hand, the more you display your masculine qualities and adapt to change, the manlier you’ll feel. Others will recognize your confidence and the man you are.
Have a Goal and Go After It
Have you ever met a high-quality man who don’t have a goal in life or who has not taken the necessary steps to achieve it? You’ll never see a masculine man not pursuing his dreams, no matter what they are.
Real men are appealing because of the value they add to the world, and doing nothing to improve your standing in the society is possibly the most cowardly thing you can do.
Having a goal in life demands you to commit to it. Don’t be like the other men out there who have lofty ambitions but do nothing to pursue them. Make every effort to achieve your goals. Move! Go out there and make your dreams a reality.
The most valuable men are doing just that, and if you want to join them, you must also be able to make a name for yourself. If you put in the time and energy, you will ultimately succeed.
Also Read: The Hero Complex
Stick To Your Standards
Many people suggest saying no in order to establish a masculine frame, but that’s far from the truth! Saying no is a masculine trait not because you refuse other people’s requests, but rather because you have standards that you stay true to.
Say no because you have no choice. Say no because you have standards that you want to preserve.
Retaining a masculine frame means having the integrity and strength to stick to your goals and principles in the face of temptations to deviate from them.
High value men say no not just to assert their dominance, but rather because they know that what they are doing is valuable; that what they believe in is true, empowers other people and brings them up. When masculine men say no, it is because they are firm in their beliefs.
Men with a masculine frame don’t need to ask how to keep a masculine frame because they already have one. Being the man that they are brings them joy, happiness, pleasure, and value.
They are fully developed men who relish being themselves! They enjoy themselves and are satisfied with who they are and what they bring to the table. Their happiness is unphased by people and certainly don’t depend on others.
There are no checklists on what it means to be a man, and such guides don’t reflect on the essence of being a man.
Being a man means giving value to other people and being happy doing it. Men have a passion for life and a zest for living. To maintain a masculine frame means that you find pleasure in being yourself and being proud of your past, confident in your present and hopeful for your future.
Also Read: How To Be Cool
To elaborate on the topic of maintaining your masculine frame, the true value of a man and having a masculine frame is the the value you give to the world.
As you can see, everyone has both masculine and feminine frames within them, which are both essential for leading a complete and happy life. You should be comfortable with both your masculine and softer side if you want to maintain a masculine frame.