Hugging From Behind: What It Means And Why She Loves It


Most people love to hug and be hugged. Hugs are an essential form of physical touch needed by humans from the moment they’re born to the end of their lives. Women, especially, love hugging from behind and receiving hugs from behind.

man giving woman a hug in the kitchen

Many studies have been conducted that strongly indicate babies and children who do not receive essential human touch during their formative years struggle greatly with forming attachments to people.

Lack of holding and physical touch can even stunt babies’ growth and development, even if they are having all their other physical needs met.

Hugging generally signifies a certain level of familiarity and closeness between the “hugger” and the “huggee.” Whether it’s a parent hugging a child, two platonic friends exchanging a hug, or whether it’s two people in a romantic relationship, hugs communicate affection and love for the people involved.

Of course, there are other, more formal hugs that are exchanged out of politeness and respect – say the hug you are obligated to give Great Aunt Ruth at Thanksgiving dinner, for example.

You and she may not exactly feel the warm fuzzies for each other; however, there is a certain level of trust and respect there. (Even if she does kind of smell like old mothballs, she’s still your great auntie.)

For our purposes here today, we are going to focus exclusively on hugs between people in a romantic relationship. More specifically, the hug from behind. Or as I like to call it, the “sneak attack from the back.”

woman giving a hug from behind

What Is Hugging From Behind and What Does It Mean?

We all know what a hug is. It’s typically the act of squeezing your special someone in your arms, or simply holding them there. There’s not really a whole lot to break down in terms of what hugs mean in general.

Not only do hugs feel good, but a nice long hug also (about 20 seconds in length) releases a chemical called oxytocin in our bodies.

Oxytocin, sometimes called the “cuddle hormone” or the “love hormone” by scientists, is associated with happiness and in lowering levels of stress. And research has found that oxytocin has an especially strong effect in women.

In a romantic relationship, a partner hugging you from behind usually bodes well for the seriousness of your relationship. People generally do not come up behind and give spontaneous hugs to people they don’t care about.

Would YOU want to press your entire body up against someone you didn’t care for very much, or absolutely detested?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

So, we know the act of hugging someone is pretty much always a positive thing! There are several different ways to hug your partner from behind, and each way can signify a different emotion, or a combination thereof.

Let’s take a look at a few different theories on the “hug from behind” and what they are likely to mean. Study up on these and you are likely to be known as the Master Back Hugger of Epic Proportions!

What Do Hugs From Behind Mean?

hugging from behind
  • Sign of Attraction and Affection

When you are alone together, and you receive a warm, lingering hug, it’s a sure sign that they are into you.

Even if you haven’t said the words, it’s obvious that you crave a closer connection, but you might perhaps think she’s not available.

In some ways a hug from behind may feel “safer” than a direct, full-on body hug with eye contact.

  • To Make You Feel Safe and Secure

It’s a protective stance, the kind of hug a parent might give to a child. This person is trying to let you know that you can rely on them, and to make you feel safe knowing that he won’t let anything happen to you.

A relationship concept called the “hero instinct” comes into play here.

This theory suggests that the male species has a biological drive to be a “hero” in a woman’s life. In other words, the man is looking to feel wanted and needed by his lover and to provide for his loved ones.

  • It Suggests Your Partner Cares

When you get a surprise hug from behind from your partner, you can be pretty sure that he’s a protective type who values your feelings and simply wants to make you feel good.

It can also be indicative of faithfulness. I liken it to a man kissing his woman on the forehead. It is simply just a sweet, loving, caring gesture and doesn’t necessarily have to lead to the bedroom.

  • Brings Happiness and Comfort in the Relationship

As previously mentioned, a good 20-second hug with your loved one releases the “cuddle hormone” oxytocin in your brain and helps you to feel more connected to your partner.

It can go a long way toward alleviating stress and burnout after a long, tiring day.

Also, the fact that this back hug can come as a surprise while she is working or doing dishes just adds to the feel-good emotions this hug can bring about.

  • Your Partner Hugs You From Behind to Cheer You Up

Maybe your partner has just had the worst day imaginable, and you can tell she’s feeling frustrated, miserable or exhausted.

You quietly come up behind her and wrap your arms around her waist or drape your arms across her shoulders and pull her in close, seeking to comfort her and put a smile on her face.

She’s feeling how much you value her, and how much her well-being means to you.

  • Shows Your Partner Misses You

This can be especially true of long-distance relationships, of seeing someone after a long time and there’s just aren’t adequate words to express how you feel.

You’ve missed them so much that you want to immediately be as close to your person as possible.

You just need to squeeze them with a bear hug to show them how important they are to you and how much you’ve missed them.

  • Indication Your Partner is Horny

Bow-chicka-bow-wow! When you come up behind your partner, encircle her lower back with your arms and pull her toward you until you are embracing pelvis-to-pelvis, it’s a pretty clear sign that you want her sexually.

And the more your hands rove over her body, the more sexually fired up you’re likely to be.

You’ll know by how her body responds whether she is receptive to your advances or not.

  • Your Partner Wants to Merge Not Only Their Body, But Their Thoughts Into Yours

Particularly if, during the back hug, your partner touches his head to yours. This is a good sign that, if this is a new relationship, you view her as more than just a fling.

If you two have been together for a while, it’s a signal that you are ready to get more mentally and emotionally intimate with her.

At least, you will be after the two of you have had a good romp in the sack.

hugging in romantic background

Why Do Women Love to Be Hugged From Behind?

A large part of why women especially like to be hugged from behind is that it is a fundamentally primal thing.

Women appreciate feeling protected by their partner, and having their man come up to them when they are in the kitchen cooking or washing dishes and hug them gives them a strong feeling of security and feeling bonded with their partner.

This may not sound like a very feminist thing to say, but it is what it is. Men are biologically hard-wired to be the protectors and women the protected in most relationships.

Security and protection aside, being hugged from behind simply makes a woman feel cared for and desired.

Whether that hug from behind was just a quick, affectionate squeeze before heading off to work, or whether the hug turns into nuzzling and kissing and a clear desire that your partner wants to be intimate with you, it all still boils down to the woman feeling loved, desired and cared for by her partner.

And who doesn’t need more of that in their life?

I will add that hugging-from-behind is not just something enjoyed by women. Men enjoy it too. It’s one of the best ways to communicate your affection and love, while also showing you desire some physical touch and intimacy.

This gesture is a great, non-verbal way for partners to essentially say “I’ve got your back” to each other. And who doesn’t love to know that they are supported by the person they care most about in the entire world?

woman seductively hugging a man from behind

Is a Back Hug Romantic?

Hugging your partner from behind can signify many things, from protection, emotional support, and security, to love and romantic intimacy.

This kind of hug indicates a strong romantic bond between couples because they can be physically close to each other while looking at the same view. It is usually the taller person in the relationship giving the hug and the shorter person receiving it.

This is similar to the lying-prone cuddling position known as “spooning.” Or maybe you want to mix it up and the shorter person (usually the woman) can hug her guy from behind, so the “big spoon” gets a chance to be the “little spoon.”

So, while a back hug can absolutely be romantic, or even turn sexual, it can also be simply comforting, calming, reassuring or a sign of protection.

It all depends on the relationship between the “hugger” and the “huggee.” In any case, a back hug can hardly be construed as a negative thing.

That is, of course, unless the person doing the hugging doesn’t know the “huggee” and forces the hug. In that case, the hug could be considered a show of dominance or force. And the woman being hugged would be well within her rights to reject the hug.

couple in living room

How To Give a Good Hug From Behind

When it comes to hugging, there’s really no right or wrong way to do it. It’s a bit like, say, pizza. Or even sex.

Even when it’s not that great, it’s still pretty good.

Hugs are already coming from a place of good intentions and love (or even lust), so it’s pretty difficult to really screw it up.

Next time you’re in the mood to give your woman a really wonderful hug from behind, all you need to do is to approach her quietly (don’t scare her!), wrap your arms around their body or their shoulders (depending on the height of both of you), and squeeze gently and firmly.

Allow your body to melt into hers, and simply hold your partner securely.

Maybe you want to rest your head on their shoulder, or kiss/nuzzle her neck.

Depending on the mood and whether you the time and the inclination, you might want to whisper sweet nothings or naughty somethings into her ear.

Perhaps you want to allow your hands to roam over her body or squeeze her butt. Your loved one is pretty sure to enjoy it no matter what you do. It doesn’t matter whether you’re just passing through the kitchen, or you want to take her into the bedroom.

It’s simply just a great way to show her she is worthy of love, protection and care.

To sum it all up: hugs are good for our mental and physical health.

Sometimes, when words fail us or just don’t quite cut it, the humble hug can express everything we want to say.

Hugging connects people. It can boost moods and positivity, nurture and build relationships, and even heal a broken heart.

Hugging lowers heart rate and blood pressure and has been shown to strengthen our immune systems.

Studies show that partners who touch and hug regularly enjoy better physical and psychological health and enjoy their relationships more.

Given all the amazing physical and psychological benefits associated with hugging from behind, it’s a great goal to set to intentionally hug your partner more!

There’s probably not a single person on the planet who couldn’t benefit from being hugged more…most importantly the partner you love more than anything in the world.

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