Nice Guys Always Finish Last: The Harsh Truth And How To Deal With It

Nice guys are like the sugar-free, low calorie with 0 carbs ice cream in the freezer section.  They‘re vanilla, and you’ll find them on the bottom shelf.  They compete with all the other flavors that offer better texture and full flavor. Being the least desirable, this is why nice guys always finish last.  They are the boring flavor.

Why Do Nice Guys Always Finish Last

A nice guy is a boring guy, with low self-esteem who lacks self-respect.  He goes out of his way to please women hoping his efforts will be reciprocated.  What he expects in return is a woman to fall in love and be sexually interested.  He becomes a doormat in relationships and easy prey to women that want to take advantage of him.

This type of guy is often shy, agreeable, and reserved.  He becomes desirable a choice for women that have reached a point in their lives they want to settle down.  A nice guy would complain about the nature of women, and how they don’t appreciate him being nice. He’s very likely to be taken advantage of as well.   Can’t figure out what he’s doing wrong and why he can’t attract women.

wood blocks that spell "loser"

Rethink What “Nice Guy” Means

To understand why women aren’t attracted to nice guys, let’s define what a nice guy is.  If you‘re a nice guy, your definition of nice is probably wrong.  There’s nothing wrong with being nice, and this is where you get confused.  If nice is good, then why don’t women want someone good? What if instead of “nice guys”, there was an alternative way to label such men.  How does “soft guys” sound? What about “overly nice men”.  Would you still be wondering why women aren’t attracted to you if you could admit you‘re overly nice and soft towards them?

The 2 Types Of “Nice Guy”

The nice, but excessive  

Nice guys argue that they‘re only being kind and compassionate. In reality, they are often more than that. They are emotional, feminine, agreeable, needy, and always willing and available.  These traits are what makes them undesirable-not the fact that they‘re nice.  They are not a challenge.  For a woman, to date, a nice guy doesn’t feel like an achievement. She doesn’t have to do any work to win this type of man.  What women seek in a man is confidence.  A man who’s self-reliant and unconventional.   Someone who’s either at her level or higher.  Women want a challenging man, even when he’s nice, but not for the wrong reasons. 

The not so nice, but pretentious

This group of men act nice but aren’t.  They think women are attracted to nice guys, and they try to pretend they are nice to get women to respond a certain way.  They aim to make women fall in love with them or use them for a sexual relationship as friends with benefits. This type of nice guy used to copy the homework of a classmate who was also failing the class.

Nice Vs Good And Desirable

There are ways to be nice and still attract women.  Nice guys, as we know them, finish last. They end up friend-zoned, ignored, or used for all the wrong reasons. You can be successful with women and be nice.  Obviously, this doesn’t mean going out of your way to please women-all the time.

Pretend you‘re a single man and have two women interested in you. Let’s assume they are both equally attractive and you are to make a decision based on their traits and how they make you feel.

Woman “A” is equal to a nice guy. An overly attached and desperate type of woman.  She will do anything you want her to do and is always available.  She is the person you can turn to for favors.  Will listen to all your problems, pay for things, buy you gifts, and come back to you even if you treated her wrong.  She will do things for you without you even asking! Now, imagine she is this way with every guy she meets.  She believes the way to win a man is to be completely submissive and show her affection every chance she gets.  All she wants is to find a man who will appreciate her for being so nice.  She doesn’t have an opinion of her own and agrees with everything you say.

Woman “B” is a good woman, who’s also nice but not too nice.  You have to be more careful around her, knowing if you treat her wrong, she will dump you-and rightly so.  If you cheat on her she will not forgive you.  It was a bit of a challenge to get her to show you that she was into you. She was harder to get and for the longest time, you didn’t know if she was even interested.  She only showed her interest after getting to know you better. Her good personality shined after you had known her for a while.  You know she had turned down a lot of guys before deciding to give you a chance.

I’m not going to ask which of the two would you pick.  But instead, which of the two feels like the better prize?  Which of the two would you feel prouder with, and will want to introduce to your family and friends?

Most guys will agree that the first woman sounds too clingy and desperate. In a serious relationship, her personality type will tire you out. You will feel bad to break up with her, not because you like her that much, but because you know how heartbroken she‘ll be. You‘re better off keeping this type of woman as a friend. If you ‘re that type of guy, keep her around for when you’re in the mood to have some “fun”. All it would take to get her to agree to do the deed would be to play with her feelings. Make her think you‘ll only like her even more if, once again, does what you want her to do.

Kneeling man in background begging his girlfriend


Now that you understand why nice guys always finish last, and the difference between (overly) nice and good guys, make some changes.  Become a harder to get and harder to please type of man.  You don’t have to be a jerk to achieve this.  Raise your self-esteem, have self-worth, and pose as a challenge.  

3 thoughts on “Nice Guys Always Finish Last: The Harsh Truth And How To Deal With It”

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