Sex With Older Women: 10 Tips And All You Need To Know

There probably isn’t a young, red-blooded straight male on the planet who has not fantasized about having sex with older women.

Whether it was your high school English teacher, your attractive divorced MILF-next-door, or just a hot mature lady you ogled in the produce section at the grocery store, admit it. You’ve thought about it.

older woman resting on pillow

Or maybe you’re one of the lucky dudes that actually HAS bedded an older woman. In that case, congratulations! You can stop reading here. (But if you want to do it again, and better, you should probably keep reading.)

Women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s and up are taking better care of themselves and looking better than ever, so why wouldn’t you want to get in on some hot bedroom action with the cougar of your naughty dreams?

We are about to spill the tea to let you young cubs know how to make sure your sexual romps with your older lady are mind-blowingly fantastic for you and for her. Let’s go:

Tips For Having Great Sex With Older Women

sex with older women

Compliment Her On Her Body

Make sure she feels good about the way she looks. Because she’s not 25 anymore, she may feel a bit self-conscious about revealing her body to you, her younger lover.

And even if she’s got all the self-confidence in the world, telling her you like what you see will only intensify the experience for both of you. “You’re so sexy” or “I can’t get enough of you” are compliments she’s sure to love.

Don’t Rush Things

Take your time with your older woman. You’re making love to her, not jackhammering at a construction site. Slow down a bit and enjoy the more relaxed pace.

Be Mindful of Menopause

Whether she is in perimenopause or is on the other side of menopause, her shifting hormones will likely play a part in her sex drive – and there is no “one size fits all” standard that applies to older women.

Some women find they have a higher sex drive as their hormones change. (There’s a joke that goes something like this: Men hit their sexual peak at age 18. Women hit theirs after the divorce is final.)

Conversely, some women become less interested due to vaginal dryness, pain or other issues.

Ask Her What She Likes and Wants

One of the most attractive qualities of sex with an older woman is that they know what they want and they are not afraid to ask for it. Unlike younger women, mature ladies have had years of practice.

They know how to flirt, and they will most likely be very clear if they want sex or not. Pay close attention to the signals she sends.

Respect Her Wisdom

And the fact that this is not your older woman’s first rodeo, sexually speaking.

Even if you’re naturally dominant in the bedroom, let her take the lead and follow it. She may just show you a thing or two (or three, or…). Let her be the teacher, and you be the student. See? There’s a naughty little role-playing scenario for you.

Tell Yourself That This Is Perfectly Acceptable

Unless you yourself are not of the age of consent, there is nothing wrong with having sex with an older woman.

Acknowledge and Embrace the Age Gap

It really isn’t that big a deal, but you also needn’t pretend it doesn’t exist. In fact, it’s probably a good thing that you express to her why you appreciate a more mature woman.

She will probably respond with the reasons that’s she’s into younger men. Think of it as foreplay. As most experts will tell you, women require a mental connection in order to be in the mood to hit the sheets with you.


The best sex with older women is all about communication – before, during, and after your sexy times.

She may just want a casual hookup, a friends-with-benefits situation, or something more serious and exclusive. But you won’t know unless you communicate with her. The same applies when you’re in bed with her.

Ask her if she likes what you’re doing. Give her lots of eye contact. Talk dirty to her. Give instructions, i.e., slower, faster, harder, etc.

Don’t Skip the Foreplay

Like most younger guys, you’re probably ready to get it on at a moment’s notice. A sexy photo of a woman or the sound of her voice might be all it takes to have you standing at attention.

Women, more mature ladies especially, tend to work differently. They don’t go from zero to sixty in 0.02 seconds.

That’s why foreplay is your friend.

And it can happen hours or even days before you and your lady hook up. Sexually suggestive texts and photos throughout the day can set the stage for some mind-blowing rolls in the hay.

Be Adventurous and Open-Minded.

You know your older woman is a long way from being a vestal virgin, and that’s part of what you like about her!

Your seasoned sex partner might be into sex toys, BDSM, or “risky” sex in unusual places – maybe even a public location.

Don’t be afraid to ask her if she’d like to try something new and mix it up in the bedroom.

And even if she’s not into the really kinky stuff, that might be a pleasant surprise for you, young lover. You can experience some new things together.

mature woman in white lingerie

Also Read: How To Tell An Older Woman Wants You

Why Do Men Love Having Sex With Older Women?

One of the main reasons many younger men cite as why they enjoy sex with older women is that it’s easier to have a “no-strings-attached” relationship than with younger women.

If the woman is divorced or was married for a long period of time, she may be less likely to get emotionally attached. And that’s a bonus for lots of younger men.

They can enjoy a purely physical, “friends with benefits” kind of relationship and not have to worry about the stress and drama of an emotional attachment.

Another big reason the cougar holds major appeal for younger women is the experience (life and bedroom) older women can offer.

They are generally more skilled and can often show the younger guys some sexy new tricks and techniques they maybe haven’t experienced before.

You won’t have to “teach” her much of anything; in fact, you are likely to learn a lot about what pleases your older woman and how to get her off. Multiple times, hopefully.

The mature female lover definitely has strong opinions about her likes and dislikes in the bedroom.

She knows what turns her on, what she wants and how to get it. If you’re a submissive male (and even if you’re not), this self-assuredness can be an insane turn-on.

Younger men want to learn new sex moves from their more experienced partner, and older women can help their cub discover new erogenous zones on his body.

Younger men may also appreciate their older lover’s level of comfort with her own body.

Though the cougar may not be a totally taut-and-toned twentysomething girl, she is likely to have fewer hang-ups and enjoy her body more.

This can translate into her being able to have more, easier and more enjoyable orgasms – because she’s not worried about looking like a supermodel during your sexy times.

mature woman gesturing to keep a secret

Why Do Older Women Love Sex With Younger Men?

Right out of the gates, I’m going to say that the first reason older women probably love sex with younger men is that it’s an ego boost.

It’s super flattering to have a young man with a tight body, toned abs, and a full head of luscious thick hair not only find you attractive, but to pursue you.

Why else are so many women on social media (and let’s not be sexist, men too) posting sexy selfies, photos and videos? Especially “older” women, who often use the magic of filters to appear younger than they are.

These women want attention. They want validation. They want the assurance that they are still seen as sexy, attractive, desirable, and “fuckable.”

Nothing is going to give them the reassurance they desperately crave like a younger man pursuing them and desiring their body. That’s the ultimate ego boost.

Besides that, there’s a taboo quality to the younger man/older woman relationship dynamic. Even in today’s world.

No one generally thinks anything of it if a young, attractive female is seen on the arm of an older gent with a big old bald spot and a paunchy beer belly.

But it’s not the same with young men and older women. There’s still some sense of “this is wrong or forbidden.”

And that very quality can make sex or a whole relationship with the young stud even more exciting. Because the woman can feel like she’s getting away with something “verboten.”

Older women also may love to have sex with younger men because of the pure physicality of it.

Getting to roll in the hay with a sexy attractive young man could be something the older (possibly divorced) woman thought she might never do again.

Maybe she got used to her husband who is overweight, bald and has breath like Limburger cheese. She never thought she’d experience this again. It can make her feel young again, and super sexy and desirable.

woman leading young man into bedroom

Do Women Enjoy Sex as They Age?

Is the Pope Catholic? Is a bluebird blue? If older women DIDN’T enjoy sex as they aged, the term “cougar” would never have been coined, would it?

Of course women enjoy sex as they age! Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a plethora of 40-and-older women out prowling at nightclubs and bars looking to hook up with some fresh-faced young cubs!

There are definite challenges women face as they age that can unfortunately affect how they feel about sex.

As discussed before, the crazy hormonal shifts associated with perimenopause and menopause can make enjoying sex more difficult for ladies of a certain age.

Night sweats, hot flashes, mood swings and “brain fog” or short-term memory loss can really throw a monkey wrench into your hot sexcapades with your mature tigress.

Not to mention vaginal dryness that can make sex actually painful for your partner. That’s why God gave us lubricant. So if your partner isn’t already stocked up on that stuff, it’s definitely worth your time and money to splurge on a couple of bottles of KY, or any lube you’re partial to.

Spoil your partner with some sexy extended foreplay and make the lube a part of it.

Before you know it, you’ll be having sex hotter and wetter than two naked mole rats humping in a sweaty sock behind a clothes dryer in North Africa at high noon.

woman wearing red high heels in bedroom

Also Read: Sexual Bets: What You Need To Know

Why Are Older Women Better In Bed?

It comes down to one word: EXPERIENCE.

You’re not going to become a world-class champion boxer the first time you get in the ring. The same goes for sex.

“Practice makes perfect.” But when you have an experienced partner to practice with, the process sure does become a hell of a lot easier!

Relatively inexperienced younger men generally appreciate the maturity, directness and bedroom skills a mature lover possesses and are happy to let the older woman take the lead.

As the younger man/older woman progress their relationship, the younger man is almost certainly going to grow in skill and confidence.

This is probably going to be even more exciting and a definite ego boost for the woman, and lead to ever-hotter bedroom sessions!


And now, you know all you need to know about the younger man/older woman sex dynamic.

Whether you are currently in a relationship or situationship with your older woman, or whether it is a fantasy to which you aspire, here is hoping that you have gained some insight into why these types of relationships can be so hot and so fulfilling for both of you.

Now, get out there and bag your sexy cougar.

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