She Stares At Me From a Distance: Is She Interested?

That coffee-shop cutie or the hottie at the far end of the bar has been staring at you across the room for a while now. When a woman stares at you from a distance, is she interested or curious about you? 

Maybe she thinks you’re weird.

Maybe she’s just bored and people watching.

staring and flirting from a distance

Here are the most common reasons why she’s staring at you from a distance:

  • She Finds You Attractive

If you’re lucky, this will be the number-one reason for a girl to be staring at you from a distance. She thinks you’re good-looking and she wants to get to know you. She’s hoping that you’ll approach her and strike up a conversation. 

  • She Likes You 

Maybe she already kind of knows you and has had a crush on you for quite a while. She likes you but she’s too shy to make the first move. 

If her face seems recognizable to you, and she keeps showing up in the places you frequent, this could be the case. If you like her too and she doesn’t come off as too “stalker-ish,” you’ll need to be the first one to break the ice and approach her. 

  • She’s Spying On You

Maybe you already have a girlfriend and this girl is one of her friends who she asked to do a little detective work. Maybe your girl questions your loyalty and has sent her friend out on a “spy mission” to see whether you can be trusted not to cheat. 

  • She Thinks She Knows You 

Maybe you simply look familiar to her and she’s trying to place where she knows you from. Perhaps you went to school together years ago, or maybe you worked together. Maybe you were a friend of her brother’s or even an old boyfriend. She’s staring at you to try to figure out whether you’re that guy. 

  • She Wants To Ask You Out 

If she’s staring because she finds you attractive, it naturally follows that she’s going to want to ask you out. But maybe she’s too shy or old-fashioned and think that it’s a man’s place to make the first move. So she’s staring at you to indicate that she wants you to approach her first. 

  • She Is Horny 

Women are sexual beings just like men, and maybe she’s on the prowl for a one-night-stand or an ongoing sexual fling. And you look like just the type of guy to handle the job. If you don’t already have a girlfriend, we say go for it! 

  • You Look Rich 

Maybe you rolled up in your brand-spanking-new Tesla. You’re wearing an Armani custom-tailored suit and sporting a Rolex. Maybe you’re buying shots for everybody at the bar. It’s hard not to stare when you look like you throw money around like you’re Jeff Bezos. 

If you are indeed balling, financially speaking, you will have no difficulty attracting all types of women. Just be forewarned that this girl staring at you from across the room might be a gold-digger. You’ll need time to determine whether she’s after you for more than your money. 

  • You Look Single 

Maybe you look like the only guy in the place without a partner, and she looks very alone herself. If you’re attracted to her, what have you got to lose by approaching her? 

What Should I Do When A Girl Is Staring At Me From A Distance?

This will depend on a couple things. First, do you find the girl staring at you to be attractive? Are you interested in getting to know her? If the answer is no, then you needn’t do a thing, except perhaps smile politely when you catch her looking, then avert your glance. 

If, however, this girl staring at you is really cute and you feel there’s mutual attraction, you won’t want to waste too much time in approaching her. But you’ve got to play the game for a few minutes at least.

Don’t rush over to her immediately. Play the little cat-and-mouse game of glancing back at her, with a small, secretive smile. 

After this has played out for a little while, here are a number of suggestions for your next move.

Talk To Her 

When someone has been stealing glances at you from across the room or just flat-out staring at you, it’s fairly obvious that she’s got some degree of interest in you. 

Now that you’ve got her attention, you have nothing to lose by casually approaching her and simply saying “Hello,” and get the ball rolling.

Offer Her A Drink 

Whether it’s a cappucino or a cocktail, this is a gentlemanly thing to do – especially when you deliver the drink to her yourself. It also gives you an excuse to start a conversation. You’ll soon find out whether she’s interested in you by whether she accepts or rejects the drink. 

Ask For Her Number 

If you strike up a conversation and you feel like it’s going well, you can always ask for her phone number. If she offers it up without hesitation, you’re golden!! You can text or call her and ask her out the very next day. 

However, if she laughs or declines to give you her digits, she’s decided she’s not interested in you after all and it’s best for you to move on.

Give Her Your Number 

If you’re shy about asking for her phone number, you can always offer her yours. This puts the ball in her court, and demonstrates that you’re not desperate and willing to go along at her pace. Plus, if she texts you first, you’ll know she’s interested!

Give Her A Compliment 

When a girl is staring at you from a distance, it couldn’t hurt to go up to her and offer her a sincere compliment. Don’t make it overtly sexual – you can always compliment her on her eyes (since they’ve been sneaking glances at you for a while) or her sense of style. Just make it sincere, because girls are good at sniffing out insincerity from a guy who’s trying to get laid. 

Make Her Laugh

Crack a joke or two (not at her expense, of course) and see how she reacts. Smiles and laughter are great ice-breakers, and you will also get an insight into her sense of humor – hopefully she has one! 

Ask Her To Dance

If you’re in a nightclub or at a party, ask her if she’d like to dance. It’s a good way to keep the energy and conversation flowing and to get her comfortable with you. (And also to find out whether she’s any good at dancing).

attractive woman smiling while holding a drink from a distance

Things You Shouldn’t Do When a Girl is Staring at You

As the old saying goes, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” So if the girl staring at you has attracted your interest as well, you’ll need to be careful in your actions and words because you’re under her microscope, so to speak.

  • Don’t Get Overly Excited

While it’s normal to get excited when an attractive girl is looking at you from a distance and seems interested, don’t lose your cool. 

While the chances are good that she likes you, she might be staring at you for other reasons that aren’t so positive. Maybe she thinks your hair is weird or your outfit is, uh, colorful. Could be any number of reasons. 

Make sure your fly is closed and there’s no food stuck in between your teeth. Keep gum or breath mints on hand just in case. If you do approach her, make it appear as effortless and low-key as you can.

  • Don’t Interrogate Her 

If you’re trying to have a conversation with her, try not to make it a game of twenty questions. Girls like it when you make an effort to get to know them, but peppering them with endless questions will make it seem more like a job interview than a social interaction. Try to let the conversation flow naturally. Let her ask you some questions too.

  • Don’t Be Rude 

Be polite, courteous and kind, even if it turns out that after approaching her and starting a conversation, it’s clear your potential relationship isn’t going to go any further than that. 

  • Don’t Be Loud And Obnoxious

If you are in a crowded bar or at a party, this might not be too easy to do. But try to lower the pitch of your voice and talk to her as calmly and politely as possible so she doesn’t feel intimidated or threatened. 

  • Don’t Be Too Blunt 

Don’t just walk up to her and ask her why she’s been staring at you. This will put her in an awkward and uncomfortable position. You’ll be able to figure it out eventually. Flirting is an art form. 

  • Don’t Overdo It

Don’t appear too eager and don’t bury her in too many compliments. Women are great at sniffing out insincerity. So a well-placed compliment here or there won’t go amiss, but you don’t want to come off as a simp. 


If a girl stares at you from a distance, she finds something about you that is interesting or attractive, or at the very least she is curious about you. If you find this girl attractive, when she looks at you from a distance consider it a sign to make a move.

Gather your courage, approach her, engage her in conversation and who knows? Magic might just happen! But you’ll never know until you try.

1 thought on “She Stares At Me From a Distance: Is She Interested?”

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