So, you’ve been hooking up with or dating a special girl for quite some time now. Maybe you see some potential in her, or maybe you’re already attached and want to move things to the next level. Now, it’s time to make yourself aware of any signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you.
And you’ve come to the right place.
Before you continue dreaming of a more official and exclusive relationship so you can have her all to yourself, it’s time to put all those nagging doubts in the back of your mind to rest.
You might have already asked her to be exclusive and you may not have. The problem is, you don’t quite see your lady sharing your enthusiasm at the prospect of being together for the long term.
Before you pull the pin and lob that “exclusive-relationship” grenade in her direction, however, you have questions that need answering. And that is why you’re here, my guy.
If there are signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you, you better know them.
Let’s hip you to a bunch of subtle and not-so-subtle signs that this woman does not see you as a potential life partner. And then let’s discuss what you can do about it.
Signs She Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You
- She doesn’t discuss plans for the future with you
- Your relationship seems to be all about what you can do for her
- She tells you straight up that she is interested in seeing other men. (Hate to beat you over the head with that one, but it’s pretty obvi)
- She shows no signs of jealousy around you and talks about other men she likes in front of you
- She pulls the “George Costanza” line on you: “It’s not you, it’s me.”
- She tells you she wants to “work on herself.”
- She tells you she wishes she could find “someone just like you.”
- She always seems to be busy or flakes on plans with you
- She exhibits “hot and cold” behavior – into you one minute, ignores you the next.
- She says she isn’t ready for a relationship right now
- She never initiates communication or intimacy
- When you text her, she either doesn’t respond at all or takes forever to text back
- She is already too comfortable with you
- Your connection to her seems purely physical. She wants sex but no commitment
- She can’t seem to get over her ex
- She blocks you from texting and calling her or asks you to stop contacting her
Signs She Likes You But Doesn’t Want a Relationship
So you’re getting mixed signals from the girl you want to be in a relationship with. How do you figure this out?
Here’s a list of five signs that she likes you but may not be ready to jump in with both feet yet:
She Wants To Have Casual Sex (You’re a “Booty Call”)
Women as well as men lead busy lives these days and often don’t have the time, energy, or desire to maintain a relationship.
People are getting married and having children later in life, and a lot of women are perfectly happy to have casual sex and “situationships” well into their thirties before feeling the need to settle down.
She’s Not Attracted To You – Yet
She may like you as a person but isn’t feeling sexually drawn to you.
A guy trying to show that he is a “good guy” will often go overboard trying to be complimentary, friendly, and polite to a woman he likes.
While there’s nothing wrong with that, sometimes for a woman there is such a thing as actually being “too nice.” You know that saying “nice guys finish last?” It’s true, up to a point.
Women like nice guys, but they also need to feel sexually attracted to you.
You’re Too Easy
She wants a guy who is more of a challenge.
While it’s easy for women to attract and have sex with men, the same isn’t necessarily true for guys.
If a woman is even decent-looking most dudes will be happy to have sex with her. But the majority of women (95%) won’t have sex with a guy simply based on his good looks and won’t necessarily want a relationship either.
Girls generally place higher importance on qualities like his charisma, confidence, sense of humor, and masculinity.
They get bored by how easy it is to attract men, especially for sex.
You Come On Too Strong
And she’s worried you’d be too clingy in the relationship.
When a guy seems to be overly eager and too smothering, a girl’s guard will naturally go up.
If a man seems to be obsessed with a girl, she’s going to worry that not only will he be clingy, but difficult to break up with.
He might cry, beg and plead; or in extreme cases he may turn violent or stalker-ish.
And no woman wants that.
She’s Too Busy With School Or Work To Be In a Relationship
Now more than ever, women are focused more on their education and their careers.
She may make time for a casual “friends with benefits” relationship, but she won’t be interested in a guy that’s madly in love with her who wants to see her every night of the week.
Signs She Just Wants To Be Friends
Every guy has had the dubious pleasure of being in the dreaded “friend zone” with a girl he’s seriously into at least once in his life.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell what her intentions are at first. It’s heart-wrenching and soul crushing to have the object of your desire place you into the friend-zone box.
But try to look for some of the following signs that indicate this girl is interested only in your friendship:
She Openly Discusses Her Love Life With you
In other words, she treats you almost as one of her girlfriends. She talks about her dates, her past relationships, and the guy or guys she’s crushing on now.
She seems oblivious to the fact that YOU want to be that guy!
She Offers To Fix You Up With One Of Her Friends
It’s a dead giveaway that she cares for you the way a friend would and wants to help you find happiness. But she’s not going to be that woman for you.
Pay Attention To Her Body Language
If she hugs you or pats you affectionately on the back or arm, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s physically attracted to you.
And if she always maintains her distance around you and never initiates any physical contact, it’s clear she wants her space respected.
You Only Hang Out Together In a Group Setting
Even if she asks you to go out for coffee or to the movies, she always brings at least one other friend along so the two of you have no chance to have alone time.
This is one of the signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you, but a sign she clearly enjoys your company, as a friend only.
How She Addresses You
Instead of calling you terms of endearment usually reserved for two people in a relationship (baby, honey, love, sweetie, etc.), she calls you dude, bro, or buddy. Like friends would.
She Won’t Accept Money, Gifts or Favors
If you two do go out, she insists on splitting the bill or even paying it herself.
She may reject your offer to pick her up or drop her off at her home, preferring instead to meet at a public place.
What To Say When She Says She Doesn’t Want a Relationship
It’s never easy when you find out the girl you are crazy in love with does not feel the same way about you. It can physically hurt you as hard as a punch to the gut.
What are you supposed to do with this information??
First and foremost, do not, I repeat, DO NOT question her. Do NOT WHINE, PLEAD, BEG, CRY OR ARGUE with her.
No amount of that type of beta-male behavior is going to make her suddenly come to her senses and realize that she cannot live without you.
If anything, it will only solidify your place in her mind as a friend, or as nothing at all.
Take the news in as calm, rational, and dignified a manner as you possibly can.
You want to salvage your self-respect and either accept that you have stalled in the “friend zone,” or you can simply walk away with your head held high.
You’re now free to pursue a relationship with a girl who’s as crazy about you as you are with her.
Take some time to process the news. If you have still decided you’ll accept her friendship without any further expectations of romance, you should at least cease or greatly decrease contact with her for a few days or more.
Don’t react or lash out in hurt or anger, or you may regret it and lose any chance at keeping her in your life at all.
Reasons She Doesn’t Want a Relationship
She May Be Looking For Something Casual
Believe it or not, men are not the only creatures on the planet to be interested in some no-strings-attached fun.
These days women are more independent than ever before, and some of them simply don’t have the time or the desire for a relationship.
She May Not Want You Chasing
When you chase after a woman, you essentially give away all your power.
She doesn’t have to make up her mind about committing to a relationship with you when the ball is in her court.
She Thinks You’re Clingy
Even if she likes you, showing her you’re clingy and needy is likely to be a turn-off for her.
How can you tell if you’re engaging in clingy behavior?
If you do the following:
- Blow up her phone with texts
- Stalk her social media accounts and like/comment on all of her posts
- Try to hang out with her every day or night
- Bombard her with too many compliments
- Invite yourself to things she is doing, or invite her to everything you are doing (even guys’ night out)
Then uh-oh, looks like we’ve got a stage 5 clinger on our hands!
You are going to have to make big changes in your behavior.
No girl is going to want to feel smothered by a guy.
She’s Just Testing Out The Waters
She likes you, but she wants to test you, perhaps by suddenly getting “sick” on the night you were supposed to go out.
Or maybe she offers to split the check with you on a dinner date.
She wants to gauge your reaction and see if you will be able to provide for her down the road.
Signs She Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You Over Text
Regardless of gender, if someone is interested in you, it will be pretty clear through their text messages.
If a girl seems overtly friendly and flirty, and you hear from her a bunch of times throughout the day, you can be encouraged that she’s got a thing for you.
If, however, that same enthusiasm is missing when you initiate contact with her, she may think of you as a friend at most, or even less.
It’s true that some people just aren’t great texters. Either they don’t like it or they’re bad at it.
Girls usually tend to be more verbose than men when communicating.
It’s okay if she seems to be talking a little more or less than you are. However, if there’s a huge difference between the number of texts you are sending her and what you are getting back in reply, that’s not a good sign.
Here are some foolproof ways to tell that she doesn’t want a relationship with you.
- She tells you to stop texting her. Completely. Forever. Can’t get much more obvious than that
- You get few responses and those you do receive are boring and in as few words as possible
- She asks no questions to keep the conversation flowing
- She doesn’t know who you are or pretends not to when you text
- She doesn’t invite you to get together in person
- She never initiates communication – you always text her first
- She blocks your texts and phone calls. Pretty much the kiss of death right there
How To Make Her Want a Relationship
Can you make this girl see you as more than a friend? Someone with whom she envisions a future?
Even if you’ve been friend-zoned or rejected outright, there are a few strategies you could employ to better your odds. Keep in mind that nothing is guaranteed.
Move On With Your Life
Date other people. Date LOTS of other people. Let her see that her rejection didn’t break you. Lots of girls change their mind about a guy when they see that they have competition.
Employ Some Reverse Psychology On Her
Don’t be immediately available if she keeps you in her sphere. Subtly let her know that you are not easily available for a “booty call” (even though this may seem very tempting).
If She Does Contact You, Don’t Act Overly Excited
Don’t fall all over yourself in an attempt to respond to her texts. Keep her guessing. Wait a few hours or even days before responding. The less available and more mysterious you make yourself, the more attractive you’re likely to become.
Plan Interesting Dates
If you are hanging out together, create some concrete plans for interesting, creative dates that take her interests to heart. If she’s an art buff, for example, take her to the latest cool art gallery opening. This will show her you’re paying attention to her wants and needs.
Be a Take-Charge Man
As independent as a woman can be, at the end of the day they want a guy who can take the lead. Insist on paying for her dinner, because YOU asked her out. Or tell her your guys’ poker night can wait because YOU would rather spend time with her.
Signs She Actually Wants a Relationship
Say you’ve been on several dates with this girl (or maybe have been in her bed). But you’re confused about whether this is a FWB relationship or a let’s-pick-out-the-wedding-china relationship.
How can you tell?
Here are some sure signs things are headed in your favor:
- She likes your sense of humor. You’re funny to her and she is all smiles and laughs around you
- She asks you lots of questions about yourself. She’s curious about you and is trying to get to know you better
- Not only does she maintain direct eye contact with you, you also catch her stealing glances at you. We like to look at people we are attracted to
- She’s excited to meet your family and friends. It’s a good sign she sees a future with you. She also wants you to meet her loved ones
- She spoils you. This doesn’t necessarily mean spending money on pricey gifts. It’s the small, simple gestures, like making your favorite cookies or buying you a coffee. Those are sure signs that she really cares
- She texts you regularly throughout the day. Even just a “good morning” or “good night” text shows she’s thinking about you
- Pay attention to her body language. If she smiles at you a lot, touches you frequently, plays with her hair, or just always seems in a great mood around you, it’s a no-brainer. If you are already dating, she’s not shy about showing affection in public.
- She talks about future plans and includes you in them
- She remembers things you tell her, even seemingly unimportant details
- She just straight-up tells you she loves you
We hope this guide clears up any confusion for you guys who wonder whether you’ve been friend-zoned by your lady love.
There may be signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you that aren’t obvious.
If you’re still baffled by this tricky business called love, man up and her directly how she feels-and you will know for sure what she feels about you.