Have you met a woman you really seem to be hitting it off with? Do you think that she might be “the one” and want to know the signs she’s a keeper?
We understand where you’re coming from, and we’re here to help you decide whether this woman is truly “Ms. Right” or just “Ms. Right Now.”
Is your new crush girlfriend material? Or maybe you’re even seriously thinking of “putting a ring on it?”
Let’s look at some signs that that girl is – or is not – a keeper.
13 Signs She’s a Keeper
1. There’s Chemistry Between The Two Of You
This sounds obvious, but stay with us. We’re talking about more than the sexual sparks flying that make the two of you practically fall into bed together.
We’re talking about a sense of ease and comfort with each other outside of the bedroom; a feeling of companionship and having enough things in common to keep you together for the long term.
In other words, you truly “like” her instead of just lusting after her.
2. She Has a Great Sense of Humor
Life is difficult enough without being dragged down by the negativity of a girlfriend who’s a “Debbie Downer.”
If this woman can find humor and positivity in most any situation and can uplift you with her spirit, you definitely want to get her on lock.
3. She’s Honest With You
She’s honest and always tells the truth, unlike some women you should never trust.
She’ll even tell you things that you may not want to hear.
This means that she’s the type of person who is willing to work through problems and issues in your relationship.
4. She’s Not a Clinger
She doesn’t need to check in with you 100 times per day because she trusts you.
Dealing with a needy woman who has got to know your every move and your whereabouts at all times will grow tiresome really quickly.
5. She Kind and Respectful
Pay attention to how she treats people like wait staff at a restaurant, or a hotel desk clerk. If she is charming to you, but arrogant and rude to them, she is not a nice person deep down.
6. She Doesn’t Require Constant Validation
A woman who is constantly looking to you (and others outside of your relationship) for validation and ego-boosting is going to be very difficult to deal with.
7. She Respects You and Your Beliefs
Whether you are of different faiths, or one or the other of you is not religious at all, she never puts you down, criticizes or ridicules you.
8. She Forgives Easily and Doesn’t Hold Grudges
If the two of you have a disagreement, it doesn’t last long and when it’s over, it’s over. She doesn’t constantly remind you about the fight you had on April 10 at 5:57 p.m. and try to use it as a means of guilting you.
Being able to forgive another is incredibly important for long-term happiness and the success of your relationship.
9. She Doesn’t Obsess Over Your Past Relationships
Exes – we all have them. But this woman doesn’t seem to be threatened or freaked out by your exes, nor does she constantly ask you questions comparing your past relationships to the one you’re currently in.
10. You Just Get The Sense That She Loves You
She does little things to please you, whether it’s making your favorite food or giving you a small gift.
She worries about you and your well-being. Maybe she encourages you to live a healthier lifestyle. It’s obvious that she cares.
11. She Makes You Want To Be a Better Person
She helps you realize your potential, find your purpose. She boosts your ego and helps you to believe in yourself and find direction if you’re struggling.
12. She Never Tears You Down or Attacks You
She makes you feel confident. She can offer constructive criticism without insulting you or making you feel ashamed or embarrassed.
13. She Gives You Space In Your Relationship
This is a testament to both her own confidence and her trust in you. She doesn’t get upset if you want to have a few beers with the guys after work, or to go play golf occasionally on the weekend.
She doesn’t try to control you and expects the same treatment from you. You add something of value to each other’s world; you are not the be-all and end-all of each other’s world.
How Do You Know If You Got a Keeper
If she exhibits several or all of the items we’ve listed above, it’s very likely that this is a woman who just might be the perfect partner for you.
But there’s more to it than that. She can have all of the most perfect attributes in the world on paper and in real life. But the most important thing you need to do?
Trust. Your. Gut.
It will very rarely fail you.
For example, she could seem sweet and charming and your friends and family might love her and think she’s perfect for you. But when you’re behind closed doors, her personality changes and she becomes jealous, controlling or aggressive. Or she puts you down or tries to change you.
Listen to that small inner voice that says “Hey, we’re dealing with some red flags here.”
It takes time to get to know someone. And while things may seem to be all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns in the first days of a new relationship, the truth will always come out.
Of course, when a relationship is new, both partners are putting their best foot forward. However, most dating experts say it is impossible for a person to conceal the truth about themselves and their personality for longer than three months.
So, if after a three-month period or longer, you’re getting along well and this girl hasn’t shown any behaviors that make you want to run for the hills, there’s a good chance that she could be your “keeper.”
However, if it hasn’t even been that long and you find yourselves disagreeing and arguing a lot, or she displays other behaviors that distress or anger you, take that as a good sign that this is not gonna work out and it’s time to move on.
Now we’re going to shift gears and list some warning signs that this girl might be more of a “catch and release” type than a keeper:
Signs She is Not a Keeper
1. You Don’t Have Much in Common
Chemistry and great sex are important in any romantic relationship. But if you find you have nothing to talk about or to do together in between your bedroom romps, chances are that this relationship isn’t going to last.
2. Your Friends and Family Don’t Like Her
If the people in your life that are closest to you dislike this woman, it’s time to take note. Those who know you best can often pick up on signs and signals that this girl is not good for you, even when you’re blinded by lust and/or “love.”
3. She is Insanely Jealous
If she is constantly questioning your whereabouts, checking up on you and grilling you about why you looked at another attractive woman passing by, these are major red flags.
Not to mention it will be exhausting and frustrating for you to have to constantly reassure her. Jealousy is not a good look on anyone.
4. She Is Clingy and Has No Life Outside Your Relationship
It may seem cute to you at first to have this girl who is obsessed with you and who makes you the focal point of her entire world.
But the initial charm will quickly wear off. You want a woman with her own interests and work outside of your relationship.
5. She Has Addiction Issues
Whether it be alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, gambling or something else, this is bound to cause drama and pain within your relationship.
If she seems to prefer indulging in her addictions over anything else in her life, this is a definite red flag you should be aware of.
6. She Is Not Over Her Ex
If your girl seems to spend an inordinate amount of time talking about her past relationship(s), or if she keeps photos and messages from her ex – or you suspect they are still in contact – she might not be the one for you. Do you really want to spend your time competing with her ghosts of relationships past?
Take the time to decide whether you’ve got a girl who’s a keeper – or whether you have some more hunting to do.