We’ve all been there. You and your girlfriend break up, but a week later she’s sending you texts asking you random questions or trying to figure out what you’re up to. Does she want to get back together with you? What are the signs your ex is testing you?
Here are 10 signs that your ex is testing you:
- She’s trying to make you jealous
- She’s trying to get a reaction out of you
- She’s ignoring you
- She asks random questions
- She makes assumptions about your life
- She tests your loyalty
- She’s honest with you
- She checks in often
- She asks for your opinion
- Hot and Cold Behavior
It can often be hard to tell if your ex is testing you, but if she’s exhibiting some or most of the above signs then she probably is.
In this article, we will further explore why your ex is testing you and look at the reasons why she may be testing you.
10 Signs Your Ex is Testing You
Your ex may be testing you because she’s jealous, she wants you back, or even just to see who won the break-up.
Regardless of her reasoning for it, chances are if she is testing you, then you’ll notice one of these signs.
1. She’s Trying to Make You Jealous
One way your ex may try to test you is by making you jealous and seeing how you react. If you were overprotective during the relationship, they may be seeing if you’ve changed.
Alternatively, they may want to see if you still have feelings for them.
How your ex tries to evoke jealousy might vary in severity.
For example, she may simply post a hot picture of her on Instagram to see if you like or she could go as far as blatantly showing you that she’s dating someone else.
2. She’s Trying to Get a Reaction Out of You
Jealousy is only one way that your ex may try to coax you to react. She may try to highlight an issue in the relationship to see how you handle the situation.
For example, let’s say you broke up because she didn’t like that you partied all the time. She may start partying a lot and make sure you know about it to see how you react.
3. She Ignores You Completely
It’s normal to have a few interactions with your ex after you break up. You were in each other’s lives for a long time and it’s normal to want to talk or at least communicate to pick up things left at each other’s places. If it’s radio silence, then she may be testing you.
She might be putting the ball in your court to see if you miss her enough to reach out or if you just move on to another girl.
Regardless of the reason, if you don’t hear anything from your ex within a month of the breakup she’s probably testing you.
Also Read: Why Do Women Ghost?
4. She Asks Random Questions
If your ex is reaching out to ask seemingly random questions she may be testing you.
For example, things like how are you feeling or what did you do last night are probing questions to see how you are handling the breakup.
It’s important to note that if she’s only asking nonchalant questions like how are you doing or what’s up, then chances are she’s probably not testing you.
5. She Makes Assumptions
If your ex makes blatant assumptions about your life then she’s projecting her fears onto you to see how you react.
For example, if she says things like “so I see you found a new girlfriend” or “you’re doing much better off without me” without much context, then she’s trying to see if you validate or deny said fears.
6. She Tests Your Loyalty
Your ex may try amplifying a problem or bad situation to see if you still will be supportive.
For example, they may exaggerate how sad they are about a small fight with their friends or parents and ask you to comfort them.
This is a way to test if you still have feelings for her. This way she can tell if you’ll push past the breakup to support her needs.
7. She’s Honest with You
This test usually comes a few months after the breakup. You haven’t responded favorably to any of her other tests, but she still wants to see if you have feelings.
There’s a possibility that she may just come straight out and tell you that she still has feelings for you.
This is often the make-or-break moment of any past relationship. If you still have feelings for your ex, this is the time to share that. If you don’t, chances are she’ll finally move on.
8. She Checks in Often
If it’s been a few weeks since the breakup and your ex is still checking in every day or two, she’s testing to see how you are doing and trying to keep tabs on you.
They are trying to remind you that they are still there and want to be with you. It’s important to be careful what kind of information you divulge depending on if you want the relationship to rekindle or not.
9. She Asks for Your Opinion
Asking for one’s opinion is often a form of flattery. If she cares enough to ask your opinion about something, then she probably is testing to see if you’re still willing to date her.
She also may ask a lot of hypothetical questions to project her fears onto you.
For example, if she asks something like do you think we would’ve worked out if we hadn’t fought as much?
She’s trying to identify the problem with the relationship so she can get back together with you.
10. She Goes Hot and Cold
Breakups can be extremely confusing. You had strong feelings for this person and now all of the sudden you’re supposed to cut them out of your life cold turkey?
It’s normal for everyone to have moments where they want to get back together and then suddenly want nothing to do with you.
However, there is a chance that she may be testing you to see how you react. Are you more responsive to her being into you or more responsive to her ignoring you?
In this situation, it’s best, to be honest with yourself or her rather than play games.
Signs Your Ex Secretly Wants You Back
While the signs that your ex is testing you may be fairly obvious, it’s sometimes hard to tell why she’s testing you. There are often two extremes:
- She secretly wants you back
- She is bitter and jealous
The way to tell the difference is in the type of tests that she is giving you and the delivery of those signs. First, we will take a look at the signs that your ex wants you back.
She Wants to Stay in Touch
If your ex is constantly reaching out to talk or ask you questions, then she probably wants you back.
A girl isn’t going to invest a lot of time keeping up with your life if she’s just jealous or no longer interested.
Therefore, if you’re still having in-depth conversations or she wants to reminisce about old times, chances are she wants to get back together with you.
They Are Open About Their Feelings
If your ex continues to share her feelings about your relationship or even her relationship with other people she probably wants to get back together.
People only discuss feelings with individuals that they feel comfortable with.
If they are still comfortable enough discussing deep feelings about their relationships, then they are still interested in pursuing the relationship further.
She Wants to Know About Your Dating Life
This is one of the signs that depends on how she’s inquiring about your dating life.
If she wants to keep tabs on your dating life to make sure that you don’t end up getting with someone else, then she probably wants to make sure you are still available to get together.
However, if she is asking for details about your relationship with a new girl or constantly comparing the old relationship to your new relationship with a new girlfriend, then she’s probably acting out of jealousy.
Signs Your Ex is Bitter and Jealous
On the other end of the spectrum, sometimes your ex is testing you because they are bitter and jealous about the relationship ending.
In these instances, they know that there isn’t much of a chance of the relationship continuing, but they want to test you to see if they are making you jealous.
She Cuts You Out of Her Life
If your ex immediately cuts you out of her life right after a relationship is over, she is probably bitter and jealous.
It’s normal to have a “cooling down” period after a relationship where you communicate in some fashion.
However, if she won’t talk to you at all chances are there’s a lot of resentment there.
She Makes Negative Assumptions
If your ex always assumes the worst of you, then she’s probably jealous.
She’s built up a certain persona for you in her head and has deemed you a “villain.”
In these cases, she’ll often say things like, “how many girls did you sleep with this weekend” or “breaking more hearts I see.”
She Tries to Make You Jealous
There are cases where an ex can try to make you jealous to get you back, but even in those cases, your ex is usually trying to make you feel what she is feeling.
She’s either jealous of your new relationship or jealous of how well you are handling the breakup.
Her approach to making you feel jealous will vary based on her feelings.
What Should You Do If Your Ex is Testing You?
If your ex is showing signs of testing you, then it’s important to first figure out why she is testing you.
Determine the signs your ex is testing you are because she wants to get back together with you or if she’s just trying to make you jealous. Asking a mutual friend about the situation may help in these cases.
Once you’ve determined why she’s testing you, it’s essential to figure out what you want from your ex.
Do you want to get back together with her? Are you jealous of her new relationship?
Do you just want her to leave you alone?
Once you have figured out what you want from your ex, act on it. Instead of playing games, it’s best just to be honest about your feelings.
In interactions with exes, honesty is almost always the best policy.
Also Read: Power Of Silence After a Break-Up