It’s a good thing you‘re wondering if you should stop texting first.
Most men are delusional to this fact: When they’re the ones texting first and initiating contact, they are doing more harm than good when it comes to creating attraction.
There are many reasons why you should stop texting first. Doing so can in many ways ruin your chance of getting the girl to want you and want a relationship with you.
What’s Wrong With Texting First
While the act alone may seem innocent, what you’ll end up achieving is lowering her interest level.
Texting her first will have an effect on how the girl perceives you. “How?” you ask? The simple answer is because you come across as “easy” and as if you’re always available.
“But, what’s wrong with texting to ask her about her day”? You might say.
There are two things wrong with texting her first to ask about her day.
- You show you care about her day when she didn’t care to ask about yours
- It’s an excuse to start a conversation
She didn’t give a crap about your day (or she’d have texted you first). Yet, you ask about hers to “bait” her to respond in hopes of starting a conversation with her.
And she knows exactly what you‘re doing.
This is what makes you “easy”, too available and needy.
You can make any excuse you want for this behavior and look for any reasons to continue texting her. The truth is, you‘re not texting her to know about her day.
You’re not texting her “Good morning” every morning because you want her to have a good morning. “What are you up to?”, yeah… you couldn’t care less. Unless she’s with another guy.
10 Reasons You Should Stop Texting First
Here are 10 reasons texting first is ruining your game:
1. You’re Showing Her You Have No Life
Women are attracted to men that have a life. When you’re always the one to initiate contact it shows her you have nothing else going on in your life to keep you busy.
She will start to see you as a low-value man and she’ll eventually lose interest.
2. You Make Too Much Time For Her
While it doesn’t sound bad at first, when she knows you‘re always making time to text her it can backfire.
Even if she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met, you must restrain your excitement.
When you’re making it a priority to text a certain time of day, every day, that’s telling her you’re already fallen for her. It’s unattractive because you‘re no longer a challenge.
Not to mention how “thirsty” you come across.
3. You Come Across as Needy
Always texting first is a sign you need to keep communication open.
She’ll soon start to think that you need this attention from her and that your life isn’t exciting unless it involves you two talking all the time.
Instead, you want her to think your life is awesome and you can do without her.
4. She’ll Think You’re In Love
Giving her too much attention, especially early on in the dating stage, could be misinterpreted as a sign you’ve fallen in love.
Whether you are in love with her or just starting to like her, don’t make texting her first a routine. You will be investing too much of your time and she’ll start to wonder why.
5. It’s Stressful To Her (And Annoying)
If she hasn’t been texting you first, it’s because either: she’s not big on texting, she’s not that interested, or is leading a busy life.
When you text her, she will feel obligated to respond even when it’s “not a good time”.
When this happens, it becomes annoying and s bit stressful having to participate in a conversation she doesn’t necessarily want to have at this moment.
6. She Doesn’t Have a Chance To Miss You
If she misses you and wants to talk, she’ll reach out to you.
When you’re routinely texting and bombarding her with messages, the woman doesn’t have a chance to miss talking to you.
Give her some time to be alone in her thoughts and feelings. Let her figure out if she misses you and if she wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you.
You don’t crave foods you get to eat every day or miss visiting a place you go to quite often.
The same concept applies here.
7. You Risk Getting Friendzoned
When you’re only texting, and do it constantly, you risk her ending up seeing you as just a friend. To avoid becoming just a friend she talks to over text, try texting her less often.
When you do text her, have a good reason for doing so.
Avoid texting her out of boredom or to start a conversation. Instead, text her to invite her on a date.
8. You’re Putting Her on a Pedestal
Texting first makes you the one chasing in the relationship.
When you chase and continue to chase when your efforts aren’t reciprocated, you’re giving her too much power.
When you’re always the one texting first, you’re putting her on a pedestal. You’re showing you like her so much that you’re willing and available to be texting her first.
You are (indirectly) begging for her attention and this isn’t romantic, or attractive.
9. You’ve Become Too Predictable
Always texting her first shows you’re needy which kills attraction. It makes you too predictable, which is an attraction killer and a turn-off to women.
When you make her phone ring every day and at a specific time during the day, it’s annoying.
You’re a man you want her to be attracted to, not an alarm clock.
Instead, make her excited to get a text from you and the only way to do this is by doing it less often.
10. You’ll Never Know If She Likes You
Sure, she may always respond to your texts-if you’re lucky.
But is this truly what you’re aiming for?
Wouldn’t you rather her initiate to text you on her own and when you least expect it? Don’t you want to know that she missed talking to you, and reached out to you first?
When you’re always texting first, you’re not giving her that opportunity.
I Always Text First, Should I Stop?
The truth is, you’ve got to stop texting first or be forced to stop texting her altogether once she completely loses interest-and she will.
Eventually, she’ll stop responding to your messages or even worst, block you altogether.
Stop texting first immediately when:
- You’re always texting her first
- When she takes long to respond
- When she responds, but doesn’t sound like she’s in the mood to chat
Also Read: Never Force Anyone To Talk To You
How Long is Too Long To Not Text a Girl
There is no set amount of time you should wait to text a girl. The issue is when you are always the one to text first.
In other words, when you text first one day and she texts you first the next, then go ahead and text first again the day after.
When this is a new girl you’re talking to and trying to gauge her interest, text first once-then wait.
When you are just getting to know each other, the “workload” of getting to know each other should fall on both yours and her shoulders.
See if she remembers to reach out first and ask something about you. If she doesn’t and responds only when you message her, odds are she’s not that interested.
In this case, you can try texting first a couple of times over the course of a few days, then back off.
If she sends the first text in the following days it could be that she missed talking to you or wants to continue talking to learn more about you.
In any case, she’s interested.
Remember, just because a girl has texted you first it doesn’t mean you should start texting first every day for the rest of your life.
Her texting you first is a sign she’s interested, but she can easily lose interest when you become obsessed.
Should You Text Everyday?
You should definitely not be the one initiating the conversation every single day. If you’re wondering if you should keep in touch over text with her every day, the answer is it depends.
It all depends on the type of relationship you have with her.
If you just got her number and this is a new girl you’re talking to, limit texting to a couple of texts a day for the next 2 to 3 days. After this initial “texting phase”, ask her out on a proper date.
If she agrees on a date, and you’ve scheduled a day and time for your first date, you can continue to text until the day comes.
In the meantime, make sure to not ruin it by texting too much or texting first every day.
If you are in a relationship with her and see each other every day, there is no reason to text more than once or twice a day.
But again, this depends on the texting habits you two have already developed.
Also Read: When a Girls Texts You Late at Night