When you first meet a girl, they’re likely going to test if you have the ability to stand up for yourself. They’re going to ask you a ridiculous question, and then watch with pleasure as you trip over your words. This is called a shit test, and you’re likely going to fail every single time.
Most people fail to recognize when they’re being shit tested because it is such a subtle comment, something that can be disguised as a tease. Passing this test is the ultimate way to show the woman of your dreams that you’re calm, cool, and collected, even under pressure.
The whole purpose of the shit test is for a woman to be able to catch your actions not matching your words.
If you want to have any chance of making it to the next base with a woman who tries one of these tactics on you, follow some of the key points to pass the test with flying colors. The first step, however, is recognizing the tactics being used against you and gaining an advantage.
Types of Shit Tests
There are a few ways that you can recognize if you’re being shit tested by a woman. Don’t take these as insults, in fact, take them as high compliments. She’s looking to see if you’re worthy of her time, and in some cases, a second date. This is also the best way to gain a woman’s attraction if you haven’t already done so.
- The Compliance Test: Women are testing to see if you have the confidence to comply with their wishes with this one. There are a few classic examples of this shit test, including the classic: “Can you hold my purse for me?” This test is going to see if you have the confidence to say no to her, and it’s going to give her an idea of who the dominant one in the relationship is going to be.
- The Congruence Test: This is a test of character, to see if you’ll stick by your word. Women will typically hit you with a line that sounds a little bit like this: “A real man would never do something like that.” This line is going to hit you and try to cause a reaction, but the goal while trying to pass this one is to be confident in whatever you say during first impressions.
- The Physical Fitness Test: This test is purely about your confidence in your appearance. A woman is usually going to hit you with something most guys are insecure about, such as their height or hairline. The key to this one is to be confident in your stature and appearance. Once she sees something that she doesn’t like, it’s an automatic turn-off to her.
- The Dominance Test: A woman is testing you to see if you care if she’s in charge of this one. This one is based on her actions, whether it means her leaving her stuff in your apartment or if she’s trying to alter your life to better fit her plans. This test is going to be the gate to show who’s in charge of the relationship, and if you’re going to let her turn you into a pushover. The easiest way to do this is to set clear and concise boundaries through your actions.
- The Plain Disrespect Test: This test shoots straight for the heart on this one. This test is going to put you in a hard situation to gauge your reaction, often aiming to make you jealous or angry enough that you’ll snap. There’s virtually no way to win this one except for remaining calm and not changing your demeanor. This one will probably come when she’s already established a relationship with you, as it is a true test of boundaries. She is going to shoot for something deep, probably coming up with a false accusation of your character.
All of these tests present themselves in different ways, some being so clear, and some requiring some extra sleuthing. The most important part of recognizing these tests is also recognizing what reaction is appropriate. This is where your game plan comes into play, and where you’re really going to have to sell yourself.
The Game Plan
There always has to be a game plan in place to deal with the different tests a woman is going to throw at you. There are quite a few ways that you can face these situations head-on and still prove your worthiness.
- Ignore, Ignore, Ignore: One of the best ways to go about dealing with a shit test is to blatantly ignore it. Once a woman sees you’re not falling for her traps, she is going to be more inclined to back off. By ignoring the toxic ways she’s fiending for your attention, she’s going to search for different ways to substitute this with.
- Agree, Agree, and Kick it Up: Kicking it up a notch and agreeing with the bullshit is going to show that you can take a joke and stand your ground. This gives you two bonus points, as humor and confidence are two of the key deciding factors of how women pick their men. By turning the test into a joke, you’ll both find it enjoyable, and it will turn this interaction right around.
- Flip the Switch: Flipping the switch is going to help you get someone with a large ego to humble themselves. Going back at them with an even more daring response to their shit test isn’t something they’re going to expect, and it’s going to show. While some people might not respond to this well, people who recognize your game are going to appreciate it and keep the level of playfulness.
- Deny ‘till You Die: This tactic is most helpful when she employs the dominance test on you. If she asks you to do something for her, you deny and carry on. This is going to show you’re not going to let her walk all over you. If she asks you to hold her purse, you have to say no. This is where she’s going to see your boundaries are being set.
- Leave Without Saying Bye: Leaving without an explanation is one way to deal with being faced with some of the women you’re going to meet. If a woman isn’t worth the time and effort it takes to thwart her test, the best thing to do is to just walk away. She’s not going to be the one if she’s just going to act all high and mighty.
There’s always a right way to go about things, and then there’s a better way. You can choose any of these methods to help you out when you’re being faced with a difficult situation and you have nowhere to run.
What Not to Do When You Want a Homerun
If you’re looking to move through the bases smoothly, here are some things you’re NOT going to want to do when facing a shit test. These are surefire ways to not pass.
- Explanation: Trying to explain yourself is one of the worst things you can do while trying to avoid being shit tested. Rationalizing something she knows is bullshit flags an issue to any woman, as they think you’re being argumentative. This also shows her that she’s walking all over you and that her approval means something to you.
- Reacting with Emotions: Showing your true emotions is a sure-fire way to fail the shit test. This immediately alerts the woman who’s testing you that you have some insecurities. This typically is going to happen if you don’t recognize her tactics, so thankfully, when a shit test comes, you’re now going to be prepared for how to handle it.
- Allowing the Disrespect: When a woman hits you with the disrespect test, the worst thing you can do is to excuse her disrespect. Failing this shit test leads down a road of more disrespect, as it comes from a place of fear. By you doing everything you can to rationalize the disrespect, you’re showing her your insecurity.
- Overanalyze: Overanalyzing situations isn’t good in any case, but when dealing with a shit test, you’re never going to be on a road to success. The mistake here is simple, letting it set in. Once you let it set in, it doesn’t leave you with enough reaction time. Keeping stature is the way to avoid overanalyzing because if you are standing your ground and appearing confident on the outside, you’ll slowly get in the groove of recognizing and handling shit tests.
Once you do one of these things, you’re on a fast track to failure. You’ve lost composure on the inside, so you must keep it on the outside to maintain a woman’s interest in you. Once they view you as weak or a pushover, you have to start all the way from the top of the order with a new woman.
Once you strike out completely; you’re out of the game at this point.
There are some additional tips and tricks of the trade.
- Never Downplay: You should never act more submissive than you really are. If you’re dealing with a dominant woman, and you’re acting submissive to reel her in, she’s going to be extremely disappointed to learn you want to take charge. Be upfront and obvious about the fact that you’re interested in taking the lead, and don’t lead her on.
- Be Upfront: Once you’ve gotten through the tests and out of the awkward beginning phase, be upfront and honest about what you want from the relationship. If you’re just looking for a hookup, say that. If you’re trying to be in something for a longer-term, also vocalize that. Don’t let the way she started the relationship scare you into thinking you can’t be honest about your expectations.
- Listen to Her: Women like to be heard. When they know you’re listening and hearing their concerns, they’re more likely to stick with you. Once you’ve already charmed her, show her that you’ll continue actively listening to her and providing her with her needs.
After you’ve already passed, the shit tests should slow down and/or stop completely. They might still occasionally occur to test if they’ll uphold.
You might be asking yourself: “Self, when am I ever going to find myself in one of these situations?”
The answer is: Any time you meet a woman who’s worth a little bit of work, and knows she’s worth more time. Here are some example situations, and how you would handle them when faced with something similar.
- Example Scenario 1: Deny ‘till You Die
Her: You’re washing my car for me on Tuesday morning.
You: No, sorry. I don’t have the time to do that this week.
- Example Scenario 2: Flipping the Switch
She leaves her stuff in your apartment, making herself comfortable.
You: Sorry, I don’t have enough space here for you to leave your stuff.
Her: Do you tell that to all the women you bring home?
You: Yes, do you leave your stuff at every guy’s house you go to?
- Example Scenario 3: Agree and Kick it Up
Her: Do you say that to every woman you meet?
You: Yes, but I say it differently each time.
- Example Scenario 4: Leave With No Goodbye
You meet her for the first time after talking on Tinder, this is your first date.
Her: Do you want to meet my family this weekend?
This is your cue to go.
Shit Tests vs Shitty Behavior
If shit tests continue for longer periods of time, it might be time to evaluate the situation you’re in.
There’s a difference between a woman trying to test your limits and a woman who’s trying to really test your limits. When a woman is exhibiting toxic behavior instead of just the classic signs of shit tests, you need to watch out. This woman isn’t going to show you straight out how she’s going to act off the bat usually, and she’s going to seem a little bit too good to be true.
Some of the classic signs of toxic behavior are pure stubbornness and low effort. This is when you have to stop focusing on passing the test that doesn’t exist, and instead, pass up on the woman. Plain-out insults are not shit tests, they’re just shitty behavior.
Once you recognize the shit tests, you’ll also recognize the behaviors that are not shit tests and just shitty behavior.
The Upside of the Shit Test
While you might not recognize a shit test as a good thing, it’s actually a VERY good thing for you. If you’re looking at a woman as a potential interest, and she’s giving you a shit test, she sees you as a viable option.
This gives you the chance to shine in her eyes. If you wanna pass the shit test, you need to play her games and play them well. Once you pass, you’re on your way to a home run with the woman who gave you the shit test.
Following all the guidelines is a surefire way to keep composure, but if you show any inconsistency, this is where women are going to pick up on it. This is one of the highest forms of compliments from a woman when she wants to test your eligibility. Messing it up knocks your rank in her mind down a few rungs, and to recover is harder than passing the first time.
Now that you’ve learned about the shit test, what it is, why it’s performed, and how to recognize and react, you’re ready to play the field. Any woman who allows you to highlight your confidence level is one who prefers an alpha male.
Once you’ve passed, you’re on the right path for a relationship. However, keep in mind that if a woman is constantly “testing” you, it might be the right choice to leave her behind. This is a sign of toxic or distrustful behavior, which is not the goal.
The goal is to foster a healthy base for whatever your target is, whether it be a hookup or a long-term relationship. After you’ve already hooked the line and sunk her, the course you set yourself up on is up to your imagination.
The key things to keep in mind are to keep the reactions to yourself and to stand your ground, all while giving her the satisfaction she desires from this test. Keeping her interest is easier than it seems, and gaining it back is harder than keeping it in the first place.
The cycle becomes more and more familiar as you go through different relationships and hookups, and soon enough, you’re going to become an expert at passing the different types of shit tests (if you weren’t one after this!)