What If Your Girlfriend Still Talks To Her Ex?

The end of a relationship can be hard and they often end without closure. When entering a new relationship there is bound to be some personal baggage and even stirred feelings for exes. Should you be concerned if your girlfriend is talking to her ex?

If your girlfriend is hiding that she is talking to her ex from you, then it is a sure sign that there are some issues with your relationship. However, if your girlfriend is open about the communication and clear with her intentions then it may be okay.

Unfaithful girlfriend texting her ex while boyfriend is sleeping

Having your girlfriend talk with her ex is an extremely fragile situation. Question her too much and you could come off jealous. Let the communication go on too long and you could be looking for a new girlfriend. Here are some tips to navigate this precarious situation.

Is it Okay If Your Girlfriend Still Talks to Her Ex?

There is no one-size-fits-all in this situation. It really depends on the nature of the continuing relationship.

If your girlfriend is hiding her continuing relationship with her ex, then it is time to have a serious conversation with her. This is a serious breach of trust and should be addressed as soon as possible.

If your girlfriend is open with you about her relationship with her ex, then it doesn’t make it immediately okay. If you see them interact in person try to pick up on if the relationship is flirty or friendly. If it’s all over text, then suggest meeting up with her ex in person. If she is hesitant to do so, then it’s probably not just a friendly relationship.

How Do You Know if Your Girlfriend Still Loves Her Ex?

There are a few key signs to look out for to tell if your girlfriend is still in love with her ex.

Woman using her phone to talk to ex while boyfriend is sleeping

She Seems Aloof During Intimate Moments

If your partner seems distant during romantic dinners, deep talks, or when having sex then chances are her mind is elsewhere. This doesn’t mean that she’s thinking about her ex, but it could be a possibility.

She Holds on to Momentos From Her Ex

While it’s natural to hold on to some things if your girlfriend seems reluctant to get rid of items from her past relationship it could be a red flag. She’s holding on to them because she hasn’t moved on.

She Constantly Compares You to Her Ex

It’s fine if your partner’s ex comes up in conversation occasionally. They were a big part of her life at one point, so it’s natural for them to come up from time to time. However, if she constantly compares you to her ex, it’s a bad sign. It means she’s trying to figure out which relationship she likes better.

She Stalks Her Ex’s Social Media

Again it’s natural to check in from time to time on ex-relationships. However, if she’s stalking his social media account every day it’s a sign that she hasn’t moved on.

She’s Hesitant to Move Forward in Your Relationship

If she’s holding off on introducing, you to friends or family or hesitant to move forward with the relationship there’s a chance she’s still in love with her ex. She may be using you as a backup plan and just waiting for her ex to come back to her.

Broken heart with the word "unfaithful"

What to Do If Your Girlfriend Is Talking with Her Ex?

If your girlfriend is open about her continued relationship and you’re confident that they are just friends, then you should do nothing unless you’re uncomfortable with the situation. However, if you think they might still be in love, then you should take action.

If She’s Hiding Talking with Her Ex

Honestly, this is a very bad situation. If you want to remain with your girlfriend it needs to be approached with great care.

If the relationship is relatively new, then it’s best to wait until you get to know each other better. The last lingering thoughts of her ex might flutter away, but confronting her at this stage will most likely end in a breakup.

If you are in a long-term relationship, you should bring up the issue very gently. Saying something like, “I see you’ve been talking with your ex, how’s he doing?” This lets her know you are aware they are in communication. Her reaction to this question should tell you all you need to know about the nature of the relationship.

If She’s Open About Talking with Her Ex

If your girlfriend has been honest and open about talking with her ex, then you are on a little better playing field. She cares about you enough to let you know that she’s talking to him. In these instances, you girlfriend might not even realize she still has feeling for her ex.

If the relationship is making you uncomfortable, then you may want to talk to your girlfriend about it. Honestly communicating your feelings is a sign of a healthy relationship. It’s important to address the topic calmly and in a non-accusatory manner.

Ex-relationships are hard. Breaking up with someone is like losing a member of your family or being cut off from a friend’s cold turkey. It’s okay to explore these feelings with your girlfriend, ultimately strengthening your own relationship.

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