When She Doesn’t Text Back: 12 Reasons (6 Are Your Fault)

You’ve been talking to this girl you like and everything seemed fine and dandy. The texting between you two had become habitual with continuous daily communication. Until the day you’ve sent her that last text she has yet to respond. What does it mean when she doesn’t text back?

angry smiley face on phone screen

Whether she stopped texting back out of nowhere, or has been gradually texting you less, the harsh truth is that most likely she lost interest. If you ‘re looking for an answer to what does it mean when she doesn’t text back, look no further. The short answer is you messed up-probably.

I say you messed up because women don’t disappear, pull away or stop texting if they are interested in you. Women will do anything (just like guys) to keep contact with someone they’re genuinely interested in.

Something happened along the way for her to change her mind about you. It could be something you said or something you did that she found unattractive and ultimately a turn-off.

Reasons She’s Not Texting You Back

Let’s look at the possible reasons she started ghosting you and no longer responds to your texts.

1. New Number/Lost Phone

Sure, it’s a possibility but let’s be realistic. You and I both know this isn’t the real reason. So let’s move on.

2. Something’s Going On In Her Life

worried woman sitting on her bed using her phone

If you and her were talking on a regular basis, she used to tell you about her day and things going on in her life.

If you were only texting once in a while, say every few days, it’s possible that there’s something going on in her life. She stopped texting you because this “thing” could be something personal or something serious.

If this is the case, she will let you know when “she’s back” and give you an explanation of why she had disappeared.

3. She’s Talking To Someone Else

She started talking to another guy who she finds more interesting. It’s simple as that, and very possible.

This is most likely the case if this girl was someone you met on an online dating app, exchanged numbers and have been texting for a short while.

This happens way too often and doesn’t mean it’s you who did something wrong. That’s the nature of online dating. Deal with it.

4. You Were Texting Too Much

Texting every day, and many times a day, does more harm than good. Constant texting becomes boring and kills attraction. 

Do it too much, and you will become her text buddy. You should only text in the brief “getting to know you” phase, which shouldn’t last more than few days after getting her number.

After you’ve exchanged a few messages, it’s time to ask her out on an actual date. 

In this scenario, it’s possible that you were only texting and she decided to move on.

5. You Were Not Texting Enough

You may be a man of few words, but when you respond “oh cool” to a long text message someone sent you, it’s borderline rude.

It’s even worst when you take ages to respond and don’t ever seem available to have a brief conversation over text.

She thinks you’re not interested, felt she was trying too hard and has had enough.

6. You Asked For Nudes

You either asked too soon or she’s “not that kind of girl”. Either way, she thought you were different than the other 99% of men that ask her for nudes and she’s now turned off. 

7. Texting You Stopped Being Fun

The topics you were talking about over text weren’t fun, or perhaps not interesting to her.

Maybe you were requesting things that made her uncomfortable (like, asking for nudes). A good rule of thumb to keep a woman interested in texting is to talk about fun, lighthearted subjects.

Sure you can ask about how her day went, but that too gets boring if that’s all you got to say in your texts.

Texting is something women do when they are interested in you. If your texts are boring it kills attraction.

If you ‘re boring, women start texting other people from their contacts list while ignoring yours. 

8. She’s Actually Busy

busy woman in office checking phone

If this is something you know for a fact, then it’s probably the reason why she stopped texting.

Don’t take it personally, just understand that you are not her priority right now. Sure it would have been nice if she could tell you she’ll be too busy to text, but she didn’t.

There’s nothing you can do-and don’t start double, triple and quadruple texting her asking her to respond.

9. She Got a Boyfriend

She was texting both of you. You messed up, he didn’t. She’s now going out with him.

10. Wants To See Your Reaction

angry young man using his phone to text

This is a legitimate reason women stop texting that most guys never suspect and one of the ways the are testing you.

When she doesn’t text back, the first thing that goes through the guy’s mind is that he has done something wrong (and he probably has).

A real possibility though, is she’s interested in you and wants to see how you’d react if she makes herself less available.

Are you going to reach out and text her again?

Are you going to be worried and check on her to make sure she’s ok?

Do you even like her enough to have noticed that she hasn’t responded to your last message?

Or do you talk to so many other women that you didn’t even notice you never got a response from her?

These are all questions she wants the answers to.

11. You Were Pushy and Demanding

young african american woman using her hand to cover her mouth while reading a text

Excluding the asking for nudes reason, there are other ways you could have been pushy and demanding.

Perhaps you were texting her at odd hours of the day, like during her work hours or in the middle of the night.

Even if you did ask her out on a date, but were pressuring her to come up with a day and time when she made it clear she doesn’t know her schedule yet.

There are many different ways you could have been pushy and demanding over text, that made her decide to stop texting you.

12. You Weren’t Texting Her “Right”

bored looking girl using her phone in a coffee shop

There are right and wrong ways to text a girl. If this sounds confusing, think of how you talk to your friends vs a girl you like.

If you never flirted with her over text, were using inappropriate words or your grammar was bad, it’s very likely she was turned off.

Think back to the topics you were texting about, were they only interesting to you or were you only talking about yourself?

Going overboard with emoticons could have killed your texting game, too.

frustrated man with his smartphone

What To Do When She Doesn’t Text Back

There are a few ways you can handle it when a girl doesn’t text back. Keep in mind that her interest level is low, or she may no longer be interested at all.

The best thing to do is respect her decision and don’t keep texting her. Pushing for communication will make things worst and will lead her to block your number. Nobody wants to be bothered by someone they find annoying-don’t be the annoying guy.

But, if you can admit to your mistakes and know you can “turn things around” go ahead, give it another try.

  • If you have said something that may have bothered her, send her a text apologizing. Then invite her to continue talking about another topic.
  • If you suspect her lack of response is a form of test, send her one last message letting her know you’ll be waiting for a text back when she has time to write back.
  • If you insist that you’ve done nothing wrong and she stopped texting you out of nowhere, she has moved on. If this is the case there’s not much you can do other than a “It was nice talking to you” text, which is optional. 

Also Read: Never Force Anyone To Talk To You

when she doesn't text back


When a woman doesn’t text back it can leave you confused.  If this was a girl you were starting to develop feelings for, the confusion turns into devastation. 

The last piece of advice when this happens to you is to maintain your masculine frame

Remember that women stop texting for many reasons, and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what went wrong. If you know there is something you said, address it and apologize.

If there isn’t something you‘ve done, make peace with the idea she may be now interested in someone else. There is always a chance she will come back to you, but in the meantime, try to forget about her and shift your focus on things you enjoy or start talking to other women.

If you‘re still asking yourself why is she not texting you back, know that no one can tell you with certainty.

Some things are out of our control, and getting a woman to respond to a text is one of them.

You have control over one thing-to get over it. And over her.

4 thoughts on “When She Doesn’t Text Back: 12 Reasons (6 Are Your Fault)”

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