Why Do Girls Take So Long To Reply? (Get Them To Respond)

Most people consider their smartphones an extension of themselves and spend most of their time with them in-hand. So, if the best way to reach someone is through a device they keep very close to them and use so frequently, why do girls take so long to reply?

What’s the deal with this girl you’ve been texting with taking hours or days to respond to your texts? 

Let’s break down the possible reasons why girls take so long to reply, and what you can do about it.

man waiting for a text message

What To Do When She Takes Hours Or Days To Text Back

You have a choice when a girl takes hours or days to text back. 

You can be patient, not read too much into it, and simply go about living your life and making it as interesting and fun as possible.

Or, you can get upset and be stressed and angry about it. Blow up her phone with hundreds of nagging, begging and pleading texts until you annoy and turn her off to a point she never wants to hear from you.

You want to convey the unspoken message that you’re interested in her, but you’re not some obsessive stalker with so little going on in his life that the sun rises and sets on whether she’s going to text you back. That’s going to brand you as a loser in her eyes, for sure.

Women want guys with interesting lives, goals and dreams of their own. So limit your texting to once or twice a day, and focus on your own life the rest of the time. It’s more likely she’ll remain interested if you don’t show that your life revolves around hers.

YouTube Video by TheSingleGuyWhy Do Girls Take So Long To Reply

Should You Text Again if She Doesn’t Reply?

Regardless of the fact that we’re all pretty addicted to our phones these days, there are any number of reasons why she might not be responding. Here are just a few:

  • She forgot her phone at home
  • She misplaced or lost her phone
  • Her phone ran out of charge
  • Her phone is on silent mode
  • She’s driving
  • She’s at the gym or in the middle of working out
  • She’s in the middle of work or school
  • She’s having a family crisis

All of these scenarios can and do happen. So, try to have some patience and think of any good reasons for why she might not be responding. 

But if you have texted her multiple times over the course of several days or weeks and she hasn’t responded, the possibility that she just isn’t interested is pretty high. At this point you should back off and stop texting her.

If she has always responded in a pretty timely fashion before, but suddenly seems to have dropped off the face of the earth, she’s telling you she’s not interested without actually telling you.

This is the unfortunate trend known as “ghosting,” and unfortunately many of us have been victims of it.

confused looking woman reading a message

How Long To Wait For a Text Back Before Giving Up

We know it’s tough, especially if you really like this girl, to patiently await a text back, and not to obsess about it every moment of the day.

Even if this girl is extremely interested in you, too, she’s probably telling herself to not over text you fearing she’ll come across as needy. Lots of girls believe they should text infrequently and take their time doing so to avoid looking desperate. 

The mind games that often get played during the stages of a brand-new relationship can be infuriating.

If she’s taking a long time to respond, try your best to be patient. Text her no more than a few times within a few days to a week, and if she does respond back, don’t feel the need to immediately answer her, either.

Build up a bit of mystery and let her wonder about you, as well. Women are interested by men who aren’t always immediately at their disposal. That said, don’t take three days to reply back either. A happy medium approach will work best. There’s a whole lot of difference between taking two minutes, two hours, and two days to respond to a text.

On the other hand, if she is responding very infrequently, her texts seem boring or very short or rude (like one- or two-word answers), read between the lines. It’s time to let her go and move on with someone else.

You need to decide on how long you’re willing to continue to text her with crickets coming from the other side.

Generally, texting her just a few times within a week should be enough to convince you she is no longer interested, if she hasn’t responded.

If you’re not convinced, simply get it through your head. She’s not interested (and if she is, she will reach out on her own).

If her energy does not seem to match yours, your efforts are probably better off focused on a new girl. If you’re still wondering why do girls take so long to reply, the answer is simply because, for some reason, they’re not interested in exchanging text messages or having a conversation.

why do girls take so long to reply

Why Do Girls Take So Long to Reply on Tinder, Bumble and Other Dating Apps?

Gotta give it to you straight. You’re fighting a losing battle on dating platforms and you’ll go nuts trying to figure out why girls take so long to reply.

It’s a well-documented fact that women who are considered even reasonably attracted are going to get their DMs flooded with messages from thirsty guys. Why is this? It’s because there are so many more men than women on dating sites.

And because good-looking women have a practically unlimited supply of men to choose from on these sites, they have the luxury of being picky when it comes to who they spend their time and energy chatting with.

It’s bad news for you, especially if you’re not super-handsome, fit, stylish, or wealthy (or at least considered to be). We’re not saying it’s right, we’re just saying that’s usually the way it works. 

So if you’re chatting with women who are consistently taking forever to respond to you, they are either not that interested or they’re chatting with who they see as their better options.

It’s best to not waste any more time on them, or to only message them as frequently as they message you.

Put them on the back burner until they show more interest, but if it’s been more than a week or so and haven’t shown any interest in having a conversation, consider unmatching them. 

happy woman using her phone

How to Get a Girl To Text You Back

No matter what you do, there are no iron-clad guarantees that you can elicit a response from any girl. But if you want to increase your odds of getting a text back, here are some tips and tricks you ought to try:

  • Don’t bombard her with texts. Space them out so you don’t come across as desperate
  • Don’t simply expect you to swoon over you by just texting her “Hey.” Come up with a creative opener. Give her a compliment, ask her what good things happened to her that day, or share a funny meme. Show her you’re genuinely interested in her
  • Show effort and be polite. The way you respond to her via text is indicative of the way you’re likely to treat her in real life
  • Have something funny, interesting and intelligent to say. No girl likes a boring dude with nothing to bring to the table
  • If you know (or suspect) she’s following you on social media, try putting up a great new profile pic of yourself. (You can also try to spark a twinge of jealousy by posting a photo or two of yourself with another female. Keep it a bit vague and mysterious.)
  • Whatever you do, do not send her an unsolicited dick pic in an attempt to provoke a response. Unless she asks for it, women do not find this a turn-on – often the absolute opposite

How To Respond When a Girl Says She’s Busy

There are several things you can text a girl when she tells you she’s busy:

  • Don’t take it personally or get upset. She may have had plans in the works for weeks or months now.
  • Be polite and lighthearted about it. A simple response like “I understand totally! Hope you have a great time!” is a good choice.
  • Offer her a few alternate times and days to plan a date.
  • Simply ask her when she might be free. “Ok! When is a better time for you?” is a good response.

Pay attention. Is there a consistent pattern developing where a girl just keeps telling you she’s busy while offering no alternative times to plan a date, your can be sure she’s not interested. Because if she were, she’d surely make the time, even just for a quick cup of coffee.

woman in bed on her phone

How To Know if She’s Busy or Just Not Interested?

If the girl you’re interested in keeps giving you the excuse that she’s “busy” after a period of days, weeks or months of trying to plan a time to hang out with her, you can assume one of two things are true: 

  • She really is just terribly busy, or…
  • She truly is just not that into you, but hasn’t had the nerve to come out and tell you straight-up

If she’s a younger girl, she might honestly be very busy with school, homework, and maybe even juggling a part-time job or two.

If she’s a more mature woman, she might have a job and even a child or two thrown into the mix. People live hectic lives these days, and she might have very valid reasons for not responding to your texts. 

So if she takes hours or even a day to respond, then texts you back something like, “I’m sorry I’ve been so crazed with (work/school/whatever), but I’d really like to get together with you soon. Can we plan a time for next week?” you can be fairly sure she’s legit busy but still interested. Why? Because she’s still asking to plan a date in the future even if she might not have the time right that minute.

However, if you keep texting her and getting no responses, or responses that seem like a brush-off (“Sorry, I’m busy with family stuff”), or worse, no response at all, it’s a done deal, my guy. She is not into you and this is your sign to move on. 


We hope this read has given you some answers on why do girls take so long to reply and how to navigate the mysterious and often frustrating world of texting women!

Don’t do too much, don’t do too little, and always remember that even if things don’t work out with your current crush, someone even better is headed your way-who’ll hopefully be better at texting.

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